January and I am just starting to want to cook again...

I have been busy.  Busy sewing, busy Christmassing, busy teaching.  Busy, busy, busy.  And for awhile there I lost all desire to cook things.  I do like to go out and have food prepared for me, love it in fact - but I wasn't always doing that.  This fall I became obsessed with things that were easy to make and eat - no prep, no creativity, just fuel.  It seems since summer has ended I have just wanted to get the cooking over with.  I have doctored jarred sauce awfully, bought frozen stir fry kits, frozen pizza, things in cans - all for the love of time.  And unfortunately, the crappier I eat, the crappier I want to eat.  It is for certain an evil lure.  I have gained weight and generally felt blech (I type this as I eat gummi bears by the way).

A funny part of this is I still kept up with all my food blog reading and foodie talk - but I just didn't make anything.  I still loved reading and discussing it, but I had no desire at all to create anything delicious that took any amount of real work.

And just so you know,  this is not a resolution post.  I haven't even gone back to the gym yet because I know it will be packed with resolutioners (plus I don't really want to go back to the gym yet).  This is just an awareness thing.  I have noticed that I have started to get interested in cooking again.

I thank E for this.  I offered to make her cupcakes for her birthday.  She wanted white cake, lemon curd and buttercream and this is something I would never make for myself, as I am a chocogirl.  But making these, and using a buttercream recipe she suggested, was fun.  I even used the leftover egg yolks to make shortbread cookies after I was all done with the cupcakes.  I planned ahead, spent a few hours in the kitchen with no other responsibilities mentally weighing me down and I had a great time.  I am not sure how good the results were (I know for sure that I didn't fill the cupcakes enough - I need a better pastry bag and more gumption), but the activity itself was pleasing to me.  Again.  Finally.

And while cooking will still sometimes have to take a backseat to monkeymaking, and lots of other things, I am glad I didn't lose the happy feeling altogether.  And glad I am remembering that the high I get from creating things like these, is the same feeling I get from cooking something that tastes good and pleases others.

So...yay for me I guess?