I have been busy. Busy sewing, busy Christmassing, busy teaching. Busy, busy, busy. And for awhile there I lost all desire to cook things. I do like to go out and have food prepared for me, love it in fact - but I wasn't always doing that. This fall I became obsessed with things that were easy to make and eat - no prep, no creativity, just fuel. It seems since summer has ended I have just wanted to get the cooking over with. I have doctored jarred sauce awfully, bought frozen stir fry kits, frozen pizza, things in cans - all for the love of time. And unfortunately, the crappier I eat, the crappier I want to eat. It is for certain an evil lure. I have gained weight and generally felt blech (I type this as I eat gummi bears by the way).
A funny part of this is I still kept up with all my food blog reading and foodie talk - but I just didn't make anything. I still loved reading and discussing it, but I had no desire at all to create anything delicious that took any amount of real work.
And just so you know, this is not a resolution post. I haven't even gone back to the gym yet because I know it will be packed with resolutioners (plus I don't really want to go back to the gym yet). This is just an awareness thing. I have noticed that I have started to get interested in cooking again.
I thank E for this. I offered to make her cupcakes for her birthday. She wanted white cake, lemon curd and buttercream and this is something I would never make for myself, as I am a chocogirl. But making these, and using a buttercream recipe she suggested, was fun. I even used the leftover egg yolks to make shortbread cookies after I was all done with the cupcakes. I planned ahead, spent a few hours in the kitchen with no other responsibilities mentally weighing me down and I had a great time. I am not sure how good the results were (I know for sure that I didn't fill the cupcakes enough - I need a better pastry bag and more gumption), but the activity itself was pleasing to me. Again. Finally.
And while cooking will still sometimes have to take a backseat to monkeymaking, and lots of other things, I am glad I didn't lose the happy feeling altogether. And glad I am remembering that the high I get from creating things like these, is the same feeling I get from cooking something that tastes good and pleases others.
So...yay for me I guess?