Kitchen Words

i just ate...

2011-03-27T20:22:00.000-04:00

Spicy Shredded Pork

Wow - this was GREAT! This makes me want to make Pioneer Woman a sock monkey. Or, like, an army of sock monkeys.

Some changes (mostly because i crockpotted and not ovened):

sear the pork in a pan while you put the rest of the stuff in the crock
double the onions - vidalia if you can get them
crockpot on low for 5 hours then crank it to high for about 3 or 4
take out and shred, (take some of the liquid out of the crock, return shredded pork to pot)
warm corn tortillas and fill with pork, sour cream, avacado slices, salsa, tomatoes

heavenly. she isn't kidding.

Sri to the Rach to the A.

2011-03-07T16:33:00.001-05:00

The Oatmeal knows what's up. Sriracha!

look forward to this

2011-02-17T13:24:00.000-05:00

I am going to have the pleasure of doing a review! On some stuff! Because I have opinions!

Boatloads. of. opinions.

The review will be sponsored by CSN Stores and they sell all kind of stuff from furniture to fitness stuff to Le Creuset cookware.

Yep.

And they are letting me review something.

I am so psyched!

Curried Lentil Soup for SoupSwap 2011!

2011-01-22T13:10:00.001-05:00

For my first SoupSwap - I tried this recipe from Bon Appetit. I made some minor changes - one being the addition of a boullion cube to give it a little more body and I added a lot more curry and a little more lemon.
People that end up getting my soup can let me know if it was way too currified. I made a jillion quarts - so maybe in making so much, the curry taste got lost, which is why I felt like I needed more - but such is life. I look forward to experimenting with soup for the next one!

Here it is:

Curried Lentil Soup

Ingredients

•3 tablespoons olive oil, divided

•1 medium onion, chopped

•1 medium carrot, finely chopped

•2 large garlic cloves, chopped, divided

•2 tablespoons (or more) curry powder

•1 cup French green lentils

•4 1/4 cups (or more) water, divided

•1 chicken boullion cube
•1 15- to 16-ounce can chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained, rinsed

•1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

•2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter

Preparation

•Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in heavy large pot over medium heat. Add onion and carrot; sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cook until onion is translucent, stirring occasionally, about 4 minutes. Add half of chopped garlic; stir until vegetables are soft but not brown, about 4 minutes longer. Add 2 tablespoons curry powder; stir until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add lentils, 4 cups water and boullion cube. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Increase heat and bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium; simmer until lentils are tender, about 30 minutes.

•Meanwhile, puree chickpeas, lemon juice, 1/4 cup water, remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil, and remaining garlic in processor.

•Add chickpea puree and butter to lentil soup. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and additional curry powder, if desired. Add water by 1/4 cupfuls to thin to desired consistency.

The stuff is velvety (the chickpea puree and the butter really make it) and the lentils cook up awesomely. In shopping for the green, (which I found at Price Chopper organic aisle, also at Co op) I also saw that there were red lentils - so I bought a bag and want to try to make some stuff with that too.

I can safely say that I am not afraid of making soup anymore. Thanks SoupSwap!

what the what?

2011-01-19T16:40:00.001-05:00

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January and I am just starting to want to cook again...

2011-01-05T13:30:00.000-05:00

I have been busy. Busy sewing, busy Christmassing, busy teaching. Busy, busy, busy. And for awhile there I lost all desire to cook things. I do like to go out and have food prepared for me, love it in fact - but I wasn't always doing that. This fall I became obsessed with things that were easy to make and eat - no prep, no creativity, just fuel. It seems since summer has ended I have just wanted to get the cooking over with. I have doctored jarred sauce awfully, bought frozen stir fry kits, frozen pizza, things in cans - all for the love of time. And unfortunately, the crappier I eat, the crappier I want to eat. It is for certain an evil lure. I have gained weight and generally felt blech (I type this as I eat gummi bears by the way).

A funny part of this is I still kept up with all my food blog reading and foodie talk - but I just didn't make anything. I still loved reading and discussing it, but I had no desire at all to create anything delicious that took any amount of real work.

And just so you know, this is not a resolution post. I haven't even gone back to the gym yet because I know it will be packed with resolutioners (plus I don't really want to go back to the gym yet). This is just an awareness thing. I have noticed that I have started to get interested in cooking again.

I thank E for this. I offered to make her cupcakes for her birthday. She wanted white cake, lemon curd and buttercream and this is something I would never make for myself, as I am a chocogirl. But making these, and using a buttercream recipe she suggested, was fun. I even used the leftover egg yolks to make shortbread cookies after I was all done with the cupcakes. I planned ahead, spent a few hours in the kitchen with no other responsibilities mentally weighing me down and I had a great time. I am not sure how good the results were (I know for sure that I didn't fill the cupcakes enough - I need a better pastry bag and more gumption), but the activity itself was pleasing to me. Again. Finally.

And while cooking will still sometimes have to take a backseat to monkeymaking, and lots of other things, I am glad I didn't lose the happy feeling altogether. And glad I am remembering that the high I get from creating things like these, is the same feeling I get from cooking something that tastes good and pleases others.

So...yay for me I guess?

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T17:29:00.000-05:00

I have been Monkeying nonstop. And really, sadly - hardly cooking.

I will return in the new year!

Have a great holiday!

hiatus

2010-11-16T13:39:00.000-05:00

Oh hai!

I'm not going to lie. I have been ignoring you. I have been busy, busy, busy with the start of school and then this happened:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/sockthemonkeygirl

Do you like monkeys? Or things made from socks? If so go! And then get some! Because I make them.

I do also still make food.

And I will write about it.

Soon.

soy latte

2010-11-06T19:29:00.001-04:00

cafe vero, lark street.

yummers!

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Home pho

2010-10-04T18:40:00.001-04:00

Making pho at home is easier than I thought.

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cupcakes, cupcake trucks and lots of capital letters.

2010-08-25T14:03:00.000-04:00

Taking a look at this reminded me of my anger about this whole cupcake frenzy. Frenzy? Is frenzy the right word? I'm not sure. It could be a frenzy because I have the summer off (almost over by the way) and I read a lot of local food blogs and I have plenty of time to ponder ridiculousness. But I want to ring in on this - so for me, frenzy is the right word.

I like cupcakes. I make cupcakes. I sometimes buy cupcakes. I have to say that the best I have ever purchased were from a place that wasn't even playing the whole cupcake game. Last year our friend, Heather brought us a box of cupcakes from the Bread Basket in Saratoga and still to this day, none have rivaled them. She brought them as dessert for some meal I was making friends and we never got to them, which meant that Chuck and I got to them systematically in the days after, and each one was amazingly delicious and totally different from the last. Since then, a cupcake "frenzy" has exploded over Albany and surrounding areas. And we were late to the party, as usual. NYC did the cupcake thing eons ago - the trend has since moved on (from what I can tell - to frozen yogurt and noodle shops). But we are North and we are Slow and we dig things with butter and sugar so it is here.

And here we are. Now there are cupcake trucks. And they park in places so people can meet them there and buy cupcakes. And they tweet where they are and Facebook where they are going and email and call and print and yell: THE CUPCAKE TRUCK WILL BE IN SUCH AND SUCH PARKING LOT FROM 12 - 3. COME AND GETCHER DELICIOUS MORSELS OF DECADENCE.

And it's a cute idea. And buying things out of trucks can always be awesome and sometimes exciting. But my problem lies with the fact that THEY AREN'T THAT GOOD. And on top of that - THEY COST TOO MUCH FOR NOT BEING THAT GOOD.

Listen - I will pay an obscene amount of money for something that tastes good. With that I have no problem. No matter how trendy it is, or obnoxious or fattening or whatever. But if it is not worth it - everything goes to hell. The whole concept will start to annoy me, as the cupcake frenzy has begun to.

Maybe it is because I had a bad trip to a cupcake place this summer where I recieved bad service, crumbly, uncreative, old-tasting cupcakes, a HORRIFIC excuse for a root beer float and a more than disgusting excuse for an egg cream and I overpaid for the whole shebang to boot! This has possibly made me bitter. But after that experience, I got mad. All this business did was cupcakes. IT'S ALL THEY DID (besides the bad drinks). If you do ONE THING - shouldn't you be able to perfect it so it is so awesome people almost drop dead from the experience? ONE THING! I mean, restaurants make hundreds of things, and good ones do a great job at it. But a cupcakery does ONE THING. So do it RIGHT. Sheesh. I should be goddamn swooning over these things and I was less than impressed. AND YOU DON'T NEED SOME SORT OF FANCY PALETTE TO ENJOY A CUPCAKE EITHER! It's not that complex!

Whew. I am apparently hitting a nerve in this entry. But I can't HELP it! Are business owners just not honest with themselves? Do they not snag some product out of the case every once in awhile and check it out for themselves? Do their customers have no taste buds? Do they give NO feedback? Are they just "trying to be nice"? Because - customers...your "niceness" is ruining your own experience. Say when something sucks. It's an owner's JOB to make it better.

I think the other issue I have is these places have the gall to charge 3, 4 or 5 bucks per cupcake. For real? Do you people understand the markup on these things? THEY SHOULD HAVE GOLD FLECKS IN THEM FOR THAT PRICE! And they are small. Well, not small. They are regular sized. They are not jumbo. They should be jumbo. Jumbo and delicious. And they are not.

And this is why I am mad. We are collectively making a fuss about mediocrity. It's like when parents make a big deal about something their kid did that really is not that impressive:

"Can you believe little Johnny picked up the magazine and said 'Mommy there are words in here'? Is that the MOST PRECIOUS THING you ever heard? He is so smart I can't stand it! Because there ARE words in there. A magazine is FULL OF WORDS. He is going to grow up to be Bill Gates! BILL GATES I TELLYA!"

Ugh. And then comes the part where I have to agree. But I don't. Just like the cupcake thing.

I. Don't. Agree.

I will end this entry with a picture of Chuck and I eating one of the cupcakes purchased from the Bread Basket so long ago. They were great. And inventive. And large. And I want more. I am heading up to 'Toga this weekend and on my way from Albany I will pass at least THREE cupcake places that I know of (probably many more that make cupcakes but don't have trucks or labs or buses) and I plan to keeeeeep on driving. And go get some deliciousness from Bread Basket. Hopefully, they are still as good as I remember.

lunch

2010-08-25T12:39:00.001-04:00

onion roll with butter, tomato from our CSA, sharp provolone.

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antipasto dinner

2010-08-23T22:33:00.001-04:00

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Location:Madison Ave,Albany,United States

Pupusas Probably in My Belly. Ok. Definitely in my belly.

2010-08-17T14:21:00.001-04:00

After having Pupusas a few times - once with Albany Jane and E and crew at Flores Family Restaurant and another time with Matty G in Noho, and then looking up the recipe and realizing "holy jeez there are only 2 ingredients for the basic recipe?" - well...it was time to make them.

It was a Stephen Monday so it was our project for the day - we had to do some prep stuff in the afternoon and then our friend Jenna was coming over for the making and eating.

We started by making the curtido - a coleslawish side dish that is served with the pupusas which can be made up to a week ahead (we probably should have thought about that a week ago) - so we got right to it. The recipe is on the link and the only thing we did differently was skipped the boiling water step and we boiled the vinegar, salt and water mixture instead, hoping that would help it permeate throughout the cabbage mixture a little quicker. Then we threw it all in a bowl and covered it and weighted it down, hoping that would help "pre age" the mixture. Final result:

It is a little boring to look at but tasted delicious - and I have a feeling tomorrow it will taste even better.

Then Stephen and I parted ways a little bit - he made the Salsa Roja, another thing served alongside pupusas, and I got busy making a sour cherry almond cake because I bought two containers of sour cherries at a farmer's market a month ago and I just threw them in the freezer and never did anything with them. It was time!!!

Stephen can tell you more of the Salsa Roja but this was the basic recipe we used. I know he used ancho chiles instead of the serrano and it gave the salsa so much more depth I wanted to hug it. I happily have a jar of leftover yumminess in my fridge that I plan to pour on everything I eat until there is no more left. Here's a shot of the insanity:

I threw together the the Sour Cherry Almond Cake pretty quickly after I figured out how to pit the cherries. I did not have a cherry pitter so Stephen and I Googled it - we saw a few ideas. We watched a video with a great how-to and I read an article so we decided to try both ways and see which was better. I guess you can say we "pitted" one idea against the other. Heh. Pitted. (btw - I am turning into my father with the ridiculous jokes how is this happening?)

ANYWAY - Stephen made the fork thing from the video and I used the idea from the article and my way won BY FAR (shhh Stephen). I basically just stood a chopstick up and impaled the cherry on it and the chopstick did all the work (and yes sometimes I made a noise I thought a cherry would have made if it was impaled on a chopstick and had a voice and was alive). Most of the time the pit was just pushed through the other end with hardly any mess. My way MIGHT have been better because the cherries were still semi-frozen - but either way I WON! After everything was prepped I assembled the cake and baked.

Cakey goodness. The cake was tasty and moist and I would make it again. Maybe with some booze next time too.

Jenna showed up with her pupusa filling and Stephen had put together some more fillings while I was lounging on the couch and yelling at him to peel me a grape - so I was time for the making of the you know whats.

We made three kinds: Chicken Salsa, Bean and Cheese, and Chorizo and Corn . We rolled the dough into balls and then stuffed and flattened them. This was not the easiest thing to do at first but after about two or three we got the hang of it. For us the trick was wet hands so everything didn't get all sticky, not overstuffing the pupusas and being careful while flattening so the goodness didn't seep out.

We then fried them on a cast iron jobby.

and we ended up making a lot...

We were only THREE PEOPLE eating - but we made...23 in all I think? Next time I think I would make them a little bigger and make less in total - but this was a great first effort.

We also made some Queso de Freir (frying cheese) while we were frying things up...

which came out toasty and delicious

and I would like to eat it every day with Salsa Roja until I turn into a piece of fried cheese with salsa on top wearing a dress and glasses.

When all was said and done - wow. A meal I will have again - maybe with some small tweaks - but it tasted delicious and was incredibly filling. The best way to eat the pupusa I found was this math problemy way:

Pupusa + salsa on top + curtido and a squeeze of lime = maximum deliciousness.

The vinegar in the curtido plus the richness of the salsa really cuts the heavy quality of the pupusa. I guess you can equate it to kind of like a wierd Salvadorian pizza from the planet Awesome.

It is possible this might be fun to do at a dinner party - everyone can bring a filling and you can make the dough and fill and fry and then chow down. But maybe I would be the only one that could have fun at that kind of party? Probably.

Cucumber Challenge

2010-08-12T21:26:00.000-04:00

So today I cut up a cucumber and decided to have each slice a different way to see what I liked best. I am not a huge fan of cucumber to begin with, but I was eager to find a way that I like it more - because eating more cucumber and less home made ice cream is probably a good idea.

The following is what I topped the cuke slices with:

salt
cayenne pepper
red pepper flakes
honey
powdered ranch dressing mix
lemon pepper
chocolate syrup

And the winners were:

Powdered ranch dressing mix (savory) and honey (sweet). Now I realize that you could probably pour these two things on ALOT of other stuff and have it taste good, and that ranch dressing on vegetables is not antything new - but I was surprised by the honey.

I will try to top more veggies with strange things in the future.

STFUAE - First Unofficial Meeting

2010-08-10T11:45:00.000-04:00

So Stephen and I have been hanging out on Mondays because he is off and I am off and we like food and think eachother's poop jokes are funny. Today ended up being excellent as usual because we planned and cooked but then got even better because Elizabeth came over! E and I have been discussing the idea of a dinner club (my friend Ashley does one and her entries about it make me drool!) and when we were all putting together dinner and dessert using ingredients we had around we realized that this was our first unofficial meeting! We were cooking, sharing ideas about food, eating - it was great.

We had already picked a name for the club - STFUAE (can you guess what it stands for?) and we laid down some easy to remember rules:

1. First rule of STFUAE is...well...STFU. AE.
2. Second rule of STFUAE is you cannot name your dish anything longer than the dish would take to eat. For example - Jerk Chicken Pizza cannot be called Pizza with Jerk Spices, Poultry and Sauteed Vegetables on Whole Wheat Pan Crust - TOO LONG!
3. Meetings will most likely be themed - possibly as loosely as just "Italian Night" or as specific as "Peppercorns". Within that we will probably assign courses so we don't just have a table full of mains or apps or desserts (which really would be ok if you ask me).
4. There were other rules but I can't remember them - more when the Unofficial becomes Official.

Later our friends Alex and Heather came over to share dessert with us and were pretty excited about the club idea (this might have just been excitement about the Dulce de Leche but whatever) so we think we already have two more members when we actually decide to get this thing going.

So - we made and ate:

Baked Kale Chips - no picture because we ate them so fast but I highly suggest you trying this! I like kale a heck of a lot but this is a great new way to eat it!

Bacon Wrapped Mango

Cut Mango. Wrap in bacon. Secure with toothpick. Bake. Eat. It was a great combo but I suggest you use big pieces of mango so the bacon doesn't overshadow the taste of the fruit.

Seafood Broccoli Pizza on Whole Wheat Crust

I had some leftover seafood mix from Trader Joe's (calamari, shrimp and scallops) in red sauce in the freezer so I defrosted it, strained the sauce out and reduced it then put it back together again. A quick toss of some broccoli in some olive oil and a quick bake in the oven, then lay pizza crust out, quick pre bake for crispness, and put toppings on (plus cheese and cheese and cheese).

Jerk Chicken Pizza on Whole Wheat Crust

This one you have to ask E about. She brought over chicken and pepper already delicioused in jerk seasoning and we threw it on a pizza crust we pre baked with some smoked garlic cheddar that I had lying around (Trader Joe's again). We threw on some jarred peppers too. This was a little spicy and delicious!

Chocolate Gelato from this recipe (just the gelato part not the rest that sounds so amazing).

This was easier than ice cream and soooo creamy. I think I might switch to the cornstarch method for my ice cream, especially after reading this.

Dulche de Leche

We made this earlier in the day by boiling a can of sweetened condensed milk for an hour in a big pot filled with water about an inch above the can (soooo easy). We let it cool then opened the can and saw this creamy goodness.

Apricot Tart with Dulce de Leche

I had some apricots in the freezer I got from a farmstand awhile ago then blanched and pitted and peeled. Stephen made a delicious crust and we thawed them and tossed with some cornstarch. We baked it up and threw some Dulche de Leche on top. This was a good combo because the apricots were pretty tart. Maybe next time a little sugar in the apricots would have chilled it out a bit.

Chocolate Cake with Dulce de Leche and Toasted Coconut

After I took that picture I realized that it could easily be made into a Cake Monster and voila:

This cake monster was born from a small cake E brought over. She sliced it and we filled with Dulce de Leche and while she was spreading I toasted some coconut that we threw on and in. In case you are interested, they eyes are roasted soy nuts stuck on with Dulce de Leche and the tongue is a fruit gummi thing I lovingly carved with a paring knife.

After we ate until it hurt we played a foodie trivia game that Alex and Heather brought wherein I sucked and lost badly - but it was totally fun.

I have hopes for the next congregation of STFUAE! Yeah!

Giveaway? WOW!

2010-07-27T19:48:00.000-04:00

Soooooo AlbanyJane has got some money to burn. Or some gift certificates to give. Or something like that. So if you go here: http://albanyeats.blogspot.com/2010/07/125-gift-certificate-to-csn-stores.html you can enter to win this boatload of goodness in the form of a CSN Gift Certificate.

Why am I advertising this? Um. Well. If I tell two friends then... you get the idea.

and so on, and so on, and so on.

New Indian Market

2010-07-26T14:26:00.001-04:00

Took a walk through today. Awesome and clean with some really cool looking Indian products. A whole insane spice aisle, refridge section and geezers section (one part dedicated to kulfi) and lots of other yummies.

Also- looks like the makings of a little cafe in back- not open yet.

Check it out! Go buy something! Extra points if you buy something that you've never had before!

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Location:Central Ave,Colonie,United States

Cooking with Spirit(s)!

2010-07-22T23:15:00.001-04:00

Stephen (previously mentioned here), a cook for the Miss Albany Diner and I like to go on foodventures.

Recently we went to Harvest Spirits and met Derek Grout the Owner/Distiller. You can read about the interview I did on All Over Albany. After we left, we ("we" meaning Stephen - I just watched) used some of the spirits we purchased in some recipes Stephen created.

The day we went out there for the interview was a long day. We drove around afterwards looking for a place for lunch then by the time we got home and ready to cook it was 7 p.m. Luckily Stephen had everything planned so we could get started right away. He wanted to use two kinds of the spirits we had purchased, the Pear Brandy and the Cornelius Applejack. He got started with the Applejack first.

Q: What did he do with it?

A: Bacon.

He created a cure from maple syrup, curing salt and Harvest Spirits Cornelius Applejack, threw it in a bag and is letting it age.

His plan is to build a cold smoker and smoke the heck out of it (more when this happens). But for now it sits curing in a bag, knowing its deliciousness is only compounding by the day.

After we (ha ha - HE) bagged it all up he started on the second project. This was the one that he was really excited about. He created a pear tart with a pear brandy caramel.

Take a breath and read again. A PEAR TART with PEAR BRANDY CARAMEL. You may pass out now.

OK - now wake up - because here is the part where I have no information. I turned around for what I think was about SEVEN SECONDS and Stephen had created some ridiculous looking yummy crust on a cast iron pan he brought over from the flour, butter and black pepper we had sitting in bags and containers. I don't know how it was possible to do it that fast but I looked and stuff was wrapped up on the counter, then next thing I knew it was like this:

then half a second later it was like this:

HOW GORGEOUS IS THAT? Oy. It took a lot of self control to not just eat the stuff raw.

He then whipped up a caramel with brown sugar, butter...

and then added Harvest Spirits Pear Brandy...

He then spread some of the caramel on the crust.

Stephen happened to have a bunch of blanched pears just "laying around" (because, you know, don't we all?) so he brought them, cut them, tossed them in some flour and placed them artfully on the crust.

I want to insert here that it is NOT FAIR that he is this talented. NOT FAIR I TELL YOU. He made this like I make cereal. Without a thought and effortlessly. This is just another testament to his brilliance in the kitchen.

Anyway - finally we baked it. By 11 p.m. it was ready to eat. Almost too beautiful, really - but we managed.

And we ate the whole thing. Do you see the burnt crust on the edges? Yeah - we pried it off with butter knives. It was insane and delicious and wonderful.

I look forward to more cooking (with or without spirits) and foodventures with Stephen. And more caramel. In my belly.

Bento Box Lunch

2010-07-22T13:23:00.001-04:00

Layer 1:
-coconut rice
- curry grilled chicken
-cherry granola cookies
-fork
-blackberries

Layer 2:
-soy nuts
- chili lime mixed nuts
-gummi centipedes (shut up)
-spoonable dark chocolate

Layer 3:
-sliced red pepper
-fresh mozzarella
-parm cheese
- gruyere cheese
-soy mini rice crackers

To drink- lemon water

Wow. I probably won't finish it all but bento box eating is really fascinating. Little bites. Impossible to get bored with your meal.

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Location:Washington Park Rd,Albany,United States

Soupy Dumps!

2010-07-19T16:42:00.000-04:00

OK OK OK EVERYONE seems to be writing about these things. Soup Dumplings, I mean. Or maybe just a few people, but I want in on the action. I read on Tablehopping, THEN on Albany Eats! about these things, then Elizabeth started kind of ~~stalking~~ researching them, so we had to try.

Off we went to Ala Shanghai. We just went to TRY the soup dumplings, and it took a large amount of self control to order only those, but we did a good job. We did end up ordering some red bean pastry type thing (they were out of turnip) and it was a good starter snack for the other snack. A pre snack, if you will.

I have to say, they were unlike anything I have ever had. I love me some steamed dumplings and these were like steamed dumplings filled with delicious, soupy goodness. The Crab and Pork were the ones we went for, and they were a true tastesplosion - like nothing else I had ever eaten. Because of E's ~~stalking~~ researching!!, we had an idea of how to eat them. Delicately lift with chopsticks to the spoon without piercing, bite off the top, pour some black vinegar with ginger strips in and slurp the goodness (later E found some other ways to eat, but this is what we had to go on the first time).

Great snack! Wow. The soup was almost kind of thick and very full flavored and the meat dumpling was moist and awesome. They are beautiful to look at and fun to eat. And the wait staff was really nice (even though they thought it was kind of weird that those were all we ordered).

After we left we went to the Big Red Asian Market on Central to see if they had anything like them. They did! They have ONE KIND of soup dumplings in their freezer section. We haven't tried them yet (and are willing to bet that they aren't quite as good as Ala Shanghai) - but in a pinch...

OH! OH! SOUP DUMPLINGS UPDATE FRESH FROM OUR GOOGLE CHAT CONVO:

Elizabeth: oh by the way: soup dumplings in NYC.

me: yes?

Elizabeth: we stumbled across a 'famous' soup dumpling joint in our last hours there so went spontaneously and split an order of pork dumplings- a whole different league

me: no way! howso?

Elizabeth: first... made fresh right there for you, def. not frozen

me: wow

Elizabeth: the wrappers were so thin they almost seemed translucent, dumplings were a wee bit bigger, it was like a very precarious water balloon, there was so much soup in them

me: holy moly. we had the albany version

Elizabeth: yes. 6.75 for an order of 6, btw. i think crab and pork was a couple bucks more but we stuck with pork. there was no way to bite the top off either. it was totally poke a hole in the side and slurp it out. too much soup to let it drain into the spoon, too. but they did have wee spoons in the vinegar so you could spoon some on to the drained dumpling

me: wowwwwwwwwwwwwwww cool.

Yep. E and I even googlechat about food. I kind of think we might have been separated at birth sometimes. While I am sure the NYC soup dumplings were amazing, the ones we had were very solidly good and worth a try. The menu is pretty big so go with an appetite. Or just go and just get those and watch the waiters shake their head at you.

(picture from Tablehopping blog because I was too excited to take a picture when we ordered them...)

Excellent Birthday Gift 2

2010-07-19T14:30:00.003-04:00

KitchenAid Pasta Extruder from C...

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Excellent Birthday Gift 1

2010-07-15T19:50:00.001-04:00

Bento box from Lori...

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sleek side shot

2010-07-07T12:39:00.001-04:00

knife3, originally uploaded by poetnicole.

just so you can get the handle detail.

new knife

2010-07-07T12:38:00.001-04:00

knife2, originally uploaded by poetnicole.

it is beautiful.

Apricots pretty much just want to get naked.

2010-07-01T17:01:00.002-04:00

20 seconds in boiling water then submerge in cold water and peel. You don't even have to buy 'em a drink.

I'm thinking vanilla frozen yogurt with apricot swirl...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Lime Basil Sorbet

2010-07-01T15:17:00.001-04:00

A hundred and seventy thousand years ago Jaime Oliver did a Basil Lime sorbet and when I heard about it I was still kind of new to the foodie scene and was kind of weirded out by the idea of basil and limes and sugar together. Aside: Ugh. The word "foodie" makes me think of the phrase "alternative music". There seems to be no better phrase for it but I hate it all the same. I wish there was a better word.

Moving on.

I MADE the sorbet eleventy thousand years ago and loved it. Then I promptly forgot about it. Until now. Because I just made that sucker and I am not sure how I possibly could have forgotten about it. What an amazing summer treat. And NOTHING says "put booze in me and make me a basil lime slushy fulla booze" more than basil lime sorbet.

Original recipe and how to from here but I changed it up a bit below:

2 cups sugar
2 cups water
1 cup fresh lime juice (about 6 ish?)
Lime Zest
30 or so fresh basil leaves
-Dissolve sugar in water and throw in the zest of 4 of the limes , bring to a boil, lower heat, simmer for 5 minutes; remove from heat, cool.
-Put basil in a food processor with 1/2 the lime juice and pulverize until it is niiiice and pasty.
-Add basil lime paste and the rest of the lime juice to the simple syrup on the stove. Bring to low boil for a second and stir. Pour mixture through a fine mesh strainer into a container. Cover and put in fridge.
-One chilled pour in ice cream maker and spin. Transfer frozen mixture to a container and freeze until firm.

Here it is spinning and looking all frozeny delicious:

TIP: ALWAYS spin stuff cold. The frozen base of the maker cannot stay cold enough to chill your ice cream/sorbet whatever if it is warm.

The flash is killing the color of it, but here it is out of the maker - and CHECK OUT THE BASIL FLECKS:

Aw man the stuff is good. Cannot wait until it is all frozen hard scoopable. And you can do this without an ice cream maker you know. Just do the whole granita thing. Google it if you have no clue what I mean.

More to come...

Rocket Pops

2010-06-30T23:08:00.002-04:00

Bought these at Different Drummer's Kitchen today. Currently they are filled with a raspberry blueberry sorbet. We will see how well they work. Elizabeth pointed out that they are perfect for using up that last bit of ice cream I spin that doesn't fit in the container. Normally I would put it in a smaller container but it never freezes right. And I would NEVER throw it away because I HATE wasting stuff. So- Rocket Pops to the rescue!

Also- lime basil sorbet will be spun tomorrow. We will see how it turns out.

Go Go Gadget Rocket Pops!!!

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Impromptu Foodventure

2010-06-29T22:56:00.000-04:00

My chef ol' buddy ol' pal Stephen and I met up for coffee yesterday morning and ended up on a fun and awesome mini road trip. Goal: Poughkeepsie for some awesome Latina/Mexican Market visits. They have a good amount there (I think) but we spent so much time ON THE WAY that we didn't get much time actually there. We plan to revisit to go to more but this entry is really about the journey - not the destination.

We drove down Route 9 and stopped ay Goolds Orchards. Nothing was really ready to buy (some apples from last season, some jams and wines) but we talked with the owner for awhile about upcoming events and things closeby to visit. She mentioned that they do PIE! and also cider donuts, so I think I will be returning for such delightfulness. We got back in the car.

A few farmstands later, we ended up at Harvest Spirits Distillery. BY ACCIDENT, I swear. But we got lucky, because even though they were closed, they were OPEN. Usually the distillery is only open to the public on Saturday and Sunday, but it just so happened that Derek Grout was boiling up some deliciousness. W stayed awhile and talked with him but I will save that information for another entry very soon. We did some tastings (even some top secret stuff!!!) and got a LOT of knowledge. Truth be told, I did not want to leave, but I started repeating myself and drooling and Stephen dragged me out.

Another farmstand we passed which was chock full of fresh insanity had me buying apricots (for vanilla ice cream with apricots), green beans, beets and basil (for lime basil sorbet). I will keep you apprised of progress in the ice cream/sorbet arenas. I have been spinning some ice cream but nothing amazing yet, although I am playing with nondairy, agave sweetened versions for my friend Lori. I will update soon with some info on all that.

We did finally get to Po-Town but not before we stopped for lunch at Mole Mole and had some insane guac and chips and I scarfed down some chipotle fish tacos (my new obsession is in the form of fish tacos) which were good, but I was sad that they were not in corn tortillas.

FINALLY we made it to town and stopped at three stores. One was more of a knick knack shop which was awesome but my budget was low for fun stuff so I just looked around. The second place was similar but they had clothes (they has AWESOME cowboy shirts) and again, just browsed while Stephen secretly bought me a hot chocolate maker thingy made of wood that smashes the choco chunk in the mug then froths the milk (cannot WAIT to try it). The third was a big market where I did buy a few things including hot sauce, garlic boullion cubes, jalapeno nuts and horchata mix for Matt in honor of one of our favorite Vampire Weekend songs.

We actually HAD to leave because I had plans back in the ALB so we were on our way. We stopped at a gas station to gas up and bought some drinks and ice cream for the ride back. And really - what a great day. The time flew and we did so many cool things, talked to so many awesome people and got to spend some quality time with eachother. My days with Stephen* always turn out this way. Not always fully planned, but they always end up full of excellent stuff. I am one lucky girl.

Stay tuned for more info on the Harvest Spirits portion of our trip and my ice cream experiences!

* I should probably do an entire entry on Stephen because he has a huge amount of knowledge in all kinds of food related areas and he is just a generally great friend. Going with him on foodventures is pretty much like taking along an encyclopedia of foodthoughts wrapped up in a deliciously warped sense of humor. This is why I have so much fun.

the Joe guy who Trades.

2010-06-18T10:27:00.000-04:00

Here's my running list of things am I out of from Trader Joe's. I accept no substitutes for these:

dark chocolate covered edamame
thai green beans (frozen section)
soy and seed rice crackers
bool kogi beef tips
ginger snaps
pb and j candy bars
sharp cheddar chunk with granola
thai red curry sauce
bag of mixed seafood containing scallops, shrimp and calamari (frozen section)
assorted dried fruit
probably most everything else they carry

I want one here in Albany. It is not fair that they are not here. I am sad that they are not here. Why are they not here?

I actually joined a Facebook group called "We Want A Trader Joe's in Albany!!!" And, not to be mean but (ok - to be mean) they have get togethers. Get togethers. Like picnics. And today they are dedicating a statue to Trader Joe in a park. And you know what? I kind of think that is weird. Because as much as I would like to shop next to these people - happily push my cart in the frozen aisle in the vicinity of them, I do not think wanting the same specialty supermarket within 20 miles of my residence is enough of a reason to thread people together. I could be wrong, though. I am sure they all are fabulous human beings.

Either way - I will need to make a pilgrimage to NoHo soon and hit the TJ's there to restock for summer. Who's with me?

LOST Party and Yumminess.

2010-05-26T13:37:00.001-04:00

Elizabeth brought something AWESOME to the LOST finale party we went to.

I made nothing themed but brought black and white cookies to symbolize...well if you watched the show you know what it symbolized and if you didn't watch it, you probably don't care. I also brought Teeny Tiny Potatoes tossed in almond pesto, a black bean, corn and red pepper lime salad, annnnnnnnd something else apparently forgettable because I don't remember it.

On another note, I made an interesting meal last night with some chicken and jalapeno sausage from Trader Joes that I grilled on my new best friend with some vidalia onion and red and orange peppers then added to orichiette pasta tossed with a sauce of Pace roasted corn and black bean salsa (no joke - AWESOME product) mixed with sour cream and cumin. Topped with Queso Fresco and pickled jalapenos. Frickin' YUM.

new best friend

2010-05-21T06:29:00.001-04:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wine-n-Diner

2010-05-17T20:12:00.003-04:00

E and I tried the Wine-n-Diner this past loverly Sunday afternoon. It was pretty empty when we got there but it was gorgeous out and I imagine most were eating fancy pressed sandwiches on checkered blankets in the park and drinking champagne in a can. Which is pretty cool in its own right but it made for a lot of open space in the place.

One of the first things that was WEIRD was that they have a huge menu - a really LARGE menu - but it wasn't on their website when I checked.

WHYYYYYYY?

Now, since I had checked for the menu a few days ago they HAVE put the other menus online. And THANK GOODNESS! Because there are THREE dishes that contain BEETS. And the beet dishes were not on the brunch menu SO I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN!

And I. Love. Beets.

Anyway, I forgive you W-n-D. I will make peace with it in my own way.

Moving on. Food:

Just so you know, the day before we went I pigged out on Sonic in Poughkeepsie on an Ikea trip and I PROMISED myself that I wouldn't eat too much. So it was only veggies for me allllll day on Sunday.

So naturally I ordered the Black and Blue Burger.

Full of veggies and...health. And goodness. It was full of goodness. Their meat patty was awesome and thick and juicy and cooked perfectly (medium rare). It was spiced well and the cheese was great. The bun was buttered and grilled and made for excellent bread texture (brexture?). I could have done without the bacon but I will tell you why in a second. In fact, I took the bacon off and didn't miss it one bit. I know it was a boring pick, but I felt that I wanted to get something that I could compare to other places, and I have to say, it stood up quite well. Very satisfying. Yum.

E went all out and got the Carpet Baggin' Burger with cheddar, bacon, fried oysters and spicy aioli. Yep. The mofo had deep fried oysters on it. Heck yeah!

Yep. That feeling going up your arm? That was a heart attack. Because LOOK AT THIS THING! WOWEE! It's DRIPPING in potential heart attack. Potential DELICIOUS heart attack. In fact, it may be one of the best last things you'll ever eat. Consider it before you go into Albany Med for that lung transplant.

So, the review from E was that it was very good (I am sure she will say more on her site eventually about taste and texture and fat content) but all I know right now is she finished the thing then sopped up the juice with her napkin and sucked on it so I assume she kinda dug it.

Because we hardly got any food, we also decided to split The Elvis:

That is right. That is a grilled sandwich with peanut butter, banana and BACON. (See why I took the bacon off my burger? See?) And remember how much I said I love beets? Well I love peanut butter more. Times a thousand more. And throw a banana on there and I am prepared to marry you.

Speaking of marriage - um. I want to marry this sandwich. It was perfect. Elvis REALLY knew what he was talking about. Sweet, salty, fruit, grilled, meat, butter...it really has everything. E mentioned it could have used some honey and I thought that could add another layer of flavor. It was great without but I could definitely see it being good.

Surprisingly, that is all we got. Although there is plenty more I would like to try so I will go back. Soon.

You should go. There's parking, a great wait staff (the owner was there when we were eating and was very friendly and talkative) and lots of interesting things to choose from. Next time I go will be for dinner. And there will be beets involved. And wine*. And maybe even some more peanut butter too.

The Wine-n-Diner is located at 544 Delaware Avenue in Albany and is open Tuesday - Thursday 7 a.m. - 10 p.m. , Friday 7 a.m. to 12 a.m., Be prepared for Brunch on Saturday and Sunday 8 - 4 and Dinner Saturday from 4 p.m. - 12 a.m. WHEW!

*To balance the fact that we did NOT get wine at the Wine-n-Diner, E and I went back and drank Mojitos with Matt. The lime, minty, seltzery lightness really cut the fourteen pounds of meat and peanut butter we had just ingested. Anyone got any fun Mojito recipes? Email me them! We will try them! We will try them REALLY HARD!

Lark Tavern Sadness...for now.

2010-05-06T19:33:00.000-04:00

Most importantly: Friday Puppy (Matt B., owner of Bombers and Wolff's Biergarten) seems to have done it quickest and best. Click here to donate to help Lark Tavern out.

I have spent many a night in this place drinking, eating, reading poetry, listening to music... My most vivid memory is of when I first moved to the area - I googled "Albany poetry" (because I am a nerd) and I read that there was a poetry open mic. Right down the street. At this place called Lark Tavern. So, I went to my first open mic poetry night there. I met lots of people that I know and respect as writers today. Then I was invited to do my first featured reading there (a huge deal to me) thanks to Mary Panza. Since then I have eaten many delicious meals and have seen a lot of music and said a lot of rhymy words and shared a lot of good times there. The place is full of joy for me and I am so sad to think about all the little nuances that will be gone.

NUANCE MEMORY ALERT:

I saw Super 400 there not too long ago. C was recording and we were standing behind the bar in the back of the room. Lori's bass was so intense that it kept pushing things off the shelves behind the little bar. First salt and pepper shakers. Then some to go containers. I thought it was me doing it at first then I thought I was just crazy. After the vinegar fell on my foot I realized it was the hot, hot bass playing of one Lori Friday. I talked to one of the waitresses about it at the end of the night and she cracked up. I am sure it wasn't the first time it had ever happened, but maybe it was the first time that when it happened, someone thought that ketchup and salt and splenda packets were trying to attack her personally. Yes, I am paranoid.

NUANCE MEMORY ALERT OVER.

So - have no idea what the future will bring. Something different. Not always bad, but not the same. So I will take a little while to remember what I loved then think about what there will be to love in the future.

I hope I can help in some way make the new Lark Tavern something wonderful. Maybe they will let me come in and paint, or hang a picture or something.

OK. Go and donate some money now. I'm done.

Here's the link again so you don't have to use your all your energy to scroll up.

Green Box Hot Fish

2010-05-03T13:34:00.001-04:00

Elizabeth made something from Matt's green box.

Wow. That sounded dirty.

I will link to Matt's site which will link you to Elizabeth's site. So it's like looking in a mirror facing another mirror. Trippy.

I missed this meal. But it seems that really...I didn't.

LINK TO MATT'S HOT FISH HERE.

Wow. That sounded dirty.

Really?

2010-04-23T15:41:00.001-04:00

How many of these do we really need?

I am not on the Chipotle train. Sorry.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Lathamish?

Nikko Sushi Buffet or How Many Rolls Can You Jam in your Belly?

2010-04-18T21:14:00.003-04:00

I love sushi. If you have read me before, you know this. I love it. I am pretty sure I could eat it every day. If they had a sushi bar with accompanying sushi chef on the island in LOST, I would have blown up the sub, the plane, the VW...any form of transportation because I would have been pretty damn happy to stay there for the rest of my life with no way of leaving (it would be OK if Sawyer were there, too).

A few days ago, my food buddy and good friend Elizabeth sent me an email about the newly opened Nikko (1893 Central Avenue, Albany, NY 12205) Sushi and Seafood Buffet. The email basically said "WE GO NOW! WE GO SUSHI LOTS NOW!" So we planned it for the upcoming Saturday.

We got there and I was immediately impressed with the decor. They did a nice job with the look - it was a buffet but they went for a kind of classy look, and everything was pretty sleek and clean looking. We were seated, our drink orders were taken and we were told to explore.

The breakdown is this: The buffet is a rectangle with a bunch of sushi chefs inside making rolls and sushi and refilling hot dishes. I badly sketched it so you could see the layout:

In short - the place was good. I will go there again. Their rolls were good and varied. They made them in small batches so you knew they weren't sitting out forever, they had some cool tempura ones and even some fruit ones that were interesting. They were rolled tight and didn't fall apart. The sushi was good - they had the standard faire that you would get in a "chef's choice" kind of sushi plate. I am not a huge fan of sashimi but it seemed fair. It was on ice, sliced well and tasted good. No nightmare "fishy" smell or scary looking stuff. Obviously it wasn't excellent - but it is an ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET. I don't think anything can be "excellent" at that style of eatery, or else Yono would be throwing his braised shortribs on a steam table and piling plates and forks next to them. The best you can hope for is satisfying. And it is.

Here's why I will go back:

1. I usually spend AT LEAST 20 dollars on sushi when I go out. Usually more. For roughly 30 dollars (buffet plus drink and tip) I get good sushi and some bonus things like a few choices of soups and hot dishes plus unlimited quantities of the next thing I am going to write about...

2. OYSTERS ON THE HALF SHELL. They were good. And plentiful.

3. Drinks and Outdoor Patio - They are still waiting on their liquor license but once they start cranking out some drinks and open the patio - this will seem like a fun place to be when it is warm.

I am sure people will go and hate the heck out of this place on their blogs and comments on Tablehopping, etc. But the bottom line is: IT'S A BUFFET. STOP BEING SNOOTYPANTS. YOU ARE STANDING ON LINE FOR THE TONGS TO FILL YOUR PLATE TO OVERFLOWING CAPACITIES WITH THINGS. This is NOT gourmet. This is why I think everyone should at least give it a try. While the concept can be scary, mentally (fresh fish in a buffet atmosphere) the owner seems to have a clue. And this is awesome in itself.

By the way - they have hibachi too for those who are into the shrimp flipping, saki pee pee fire drill experience.

Four Boston Cream Enter, One Boston Cream Leave.

2010-04-18T19:23:00.001-04:00

I feel like a lot of my entries have been starting like this, but Albany Jane invited me to a Boston Cream Doughnut tasting. I brought Elizabeth. I could go into how ridiculously happy being invited to an event such as this made me, but really - I am not much for gushing. No. Not at all.

So this is how I spent my Saturday morning: I got to meet Fussy D and his adorable spawn (codename: Tangy) and sit and eat doughnuts with people who love food. Then after we were done we sat and talked about more food. So. Um. Pretty much a morning filled with perfection like the doughnuts before us were filled with creamy goodness and ready to be ingested. (See what I did there?)

Let's begin. The contestants:

Dunkin's, Bella Napoli, Schuyler Bakery and The Cookie Factory.

We lined 'em up...

and sliced them open.

Then we did my favorite thing to do. Judged Them.

Here's a shot of me, judging the crap out of some doughnuts.

I made a whole Judgey McJudgersons listy type thing to keep track and try to be official.

Now, Boston Cream doughnuts are complicated so you have to think about a lot of things when judging. I decided to note Frosting, Cake, Filling, then I added the category Chew because one kind had such a different texture. As I was eating and taking notes (we were all solemn and kind of quiet during parts of the judging, then one of us would make a remark like, "Does A taste like it has chemicals in it?" or "Do you taste ANYTHING vanilla in the cream in D?" and we would explode into conversation, but a lot of the time we were hunched over, writing and deciding and thinking and munching.

This is what I realized during my judging. I didn't really taste anything THAT different in all of them. The creams were similar, the frosting was similar, the cakiness was similar. Sometimes the difference was very, very small. I picked the Dunkin Donuts one out immediately, mostly because I have probably shoved at least seven hundred into my mouth in my lifetime (Most times it goes like this: "Are these donuts? Are we allowed to take one? OOOOH Boston Cream!!!" Yoink!), but also because it looked the most uniform. The rest had a distinct homemade style to them. Besides that though, almost all the frostings tasted like chocolatEY (not chocolate, chocolatEY) cake frosting, and the cream was pretty velvety and vanilla puddingish. The cake is where I got thrown off. The first one I tried had a very different texture than the other three. It was chewier, more like bread - dessert bread, and had bigger air pockets throughout. It was heartier, like a hardroll while the rest were soft like potato bread. And I discovered that I liked it best. When thinking about it, the reason I liked it best was not just because I thought it TASTED better, but because I felt like this was how donuts should be. It reminded me that before there were mocha soy latte frappe and chocolate croissant shoppes, there were coffee and donut shops and they made everything from scratch there. And when the guy behind the counter took your order, he wasn't always Corporation Pleasant which he learned in the training video, he was real and maybe even a little bit mouthy, but he also made everything himself and was pretty damn proud of that. Mind you, I wasn't around when these kind of places existed, but I think I have it pictured correctly.

So I picked my top choice because I thought it was what a donut SHOULD BE instead of what most of them are today. And I like the ones today. But I also like the thought of some guy with a kind of dirty apron selling me something he made with his own hands, that morning. Not something that got unloaded off of a truck and loaded onto a shelf by a bored and unhappy person that has higher goals and aspirations, but coffee and donut slinging are fine for now as long as the rent is paid.

Too thinky? Oh well.

Pho Ga

2010-04-16T20:13:00.001-04:00

Wow. Friday night might not be the best night to come here. But the Pho is delicious, so I will ignore the wait and the rudeness...

-- Post From My iPhone

Location:Van's

I Like Killing Flies.

2010-04-15T21:00:00.000-04:00

I just finished this: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0390109/ and loved it. I don't want to tell you too much about it even though if you just clicked the link then you probably know a ton. So maybe don't click on the link? Or should I have said that before?

Oy. I ruin anything.

Anyway - you can Netflix instant it if you have such things, or find it in several other places I am sure.

And now that I have seen it, I feel that I must go here: http://www.shopsins.com/

Because this is their menu. COME ON. HOW CAN I NOT GO?

Come on. Let's plan a pilgrimage.

The Box Strikes Again

2010-04-12T22:40:00.000-04:00

Matt made bread. I helped. We chatrouletted it when we were full. Here's the post. Enjoy!

Aashiana update! (and some random blabber)

2010-04-11T21:32:00.001-04:00

I went again to my new fave Indian place (thanks AJ) and the owner (Salim?) informed me that he will be doing FRIDAY NIGHT all you can eat buffets from 5:30 to...8. So...that's pretty sweet. Just wanted you all to know. Apparently he remembers me from my buffet visits. Or maybe I am just the type of girl who looks like she digs buffets (read: fatty boombalatty).

Anyway - when I went this time I was accompanied by the lovely Lori and there was no buffet. Hmmm. So we were ordering straight from the menu. A new experience - awesome. And we were hungry. We ordered Pakora and Pappadum and Dolmas and Hummus. The table was filled with our many appetizers. We went on to order Vegetable Curry (Lori) and Chicken Tikka Masala (Moi). Lori reported the deliciousness of the curry and I was super impressed with the Tikka Masala. It is pretty much my go-to dish and this is the creamiest Masala I have ever had. Very delicious. I almost licked the bowl. OK I licked the bowl. This information makes me conclude (again) that I love this place. But you knew that.

In other food related news, I cooked a little with Matt and Elizabeth and helped make some bread from Betty's Green Box. And then we proceeded to put the bread on chatroulette and urge people to pretend to eat it. This was great fun and I am sure I will want to do it again with other dishes. And by the way? Chatroulette? WTF?

Oh yeah! And I finally ate at Capital Q! Woohoo that was awesome! I had the Okie pork sammy with sides of coleslaw, mac and cheese, and collard greens. They gave me the tastings so I could decide and the friendliness of the staff is incredible! They are awesome there. The food is delicious and I cannot wait to go again.

Last note - pappardelle pasta is hard to eat. I made lamb bolognese (sort of - no cream in the house so I guess it was sort of a lamb ragu?) and finally found pappardelle at Cardona's Market. And when I put it all together and we started to eat I realized how hard it is to eat! It is awfully pretty in the bowl but pretty close to eating full sheets of lasagna and sauce. Lots of splashy splashy in the bowl. I was kind of bummed.

Wow - this was rather disconnected. I covered a lot of ground, though.

More later...

An Open Letter to CCE's

2010-03-31T15:12:00.000-04:00

Dear Cadbury Cream Eggs,
Thus far I have done a spectacular job of avoiding you. I had a 4 pack of you in my desk at work and I only had ONE. I gave another to a coworker and we ate them together and methodically smoothed out the foil wrappers like young, OCD children, something we both realized we did without even knowing it. (Apparently the challenge is taking the wrinkles out without ripping the delicate foil and the goal is to WIN WIN WIN that challenge.)

So now I have 2 eggs left in my desk. And most likely I will have one tomorrow and give the other to my coworker so we can eat and dewrinklefy before I am away from said desk for a week because of April break. AND you are only 150 calories so I am not THAT concerned with eating one more, even though I AM trying to lose ten pounds before the end of April. Here's my problem:

YOU WILL GO ON SALE APRIL 4th! You will be soooo cheap that it will be INCREDIBLY difficult for me to ignore you. I tested the freezing theory a few years ago and found that you freeze incredibly well therefore allowing me to buy you in bulk and have you as late as AUGUST and probably even later.

And I have all next week off and most likely will be in lots of stores where you are cheap.

My suggestion. Go away. Go far, far away from me as soon as possible unless you'd like to be stripped of your foil suit which will be separately cared for and pressed, and then gobbled down like a common hershey kiss.

Really. Please get out of my sight. If you know what's good for you.

Love (and hate),
Nicole

mama's got a brand new bag.

2010-03-30T19:22:00.000-04:00

procured here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/rainbowswirlz?section_id=5497866

I effing love brussel sprouts.

2010-03-30T18:51:00.002-04:00

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Cupcake Eating Contest Thoughts

2010-03-28T18:29:00.003-04:00

I am not going to make any friends with this entry. But really - one of my pet peeves is bad service. If your job is to get me things, no matter what those things are, I expect them to be gotten quickly and with a smile on your face. Because that is your job. Bottom line. You are there, getting paid to do it, so do it the best you can.

That being said, Elizabeth and I went to the X's and O's (a vegan bakery in Troy) cupcake eating contest to benefit Out of the Pits, a Pit Bull Rescue Organization and major worthy cause. We tried to sign up. Well. E tried to sign up. She called and got denied. This is the email I got after the attempt which sets us up nicely for what happened later:

To: Me
From: E
Subject: On Being Shut Down, a play in one act.

Ingenue: "Hi, can I register for Saturday please?"

Weird lady: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh (drawn out about 10 seconds)...I think I have to say no? (question inflection)."

Ingenue: "Oh, no!"
Weird lady: "Yeah 'cause I have, like, 13? (question inflection) So..."

Ingenue: (resigned) "Ok."

Weird lady: "...."

Ingenue: (confused) "Ok. Thank you."

Flaky lady: "You can still come there are going to be kissing booths and if you have $5 you can do something"

Ingenue: "Ok. Thank you."

Flaky lady: "Sorry?" (question inflection)

FIN.

So - shut down from the getgo. Which was fine because do I NEED to enter a cupcake eating contest? Ahhh no. But we still planned to attend, support the cause and watch the people shove baked goods down their talkingholes. We get there and parked and this is where I begin to have a problem.

There are doggies outside. We pet some. They are cute. We go inside to buy something to support the business that is holding this (and for a little treat since we weren't going to be cupcake contesting). We stand on a not too long line - 2 people in front of us maybe? I was getting a piece of carrot cake and E was getting a S'mores cupcake. There were three people behind the counter.

This is the place so just imagine about five people total in line and three people behind the counter

Nice, open space. Kind of empty of actual product in the case, but maybe because the contest was going on? Not sure. The owner did say she had to make 250 cupcakes for the contest, and I gather that she knew this information way ahead and could plan accordingly, but perhaps not? But anyway, there was a huge carrot cake on the counter and a few things in the case, so we made our choices. We were ready.

The problem was - they weren't ready. And not in a "we are getting slammed because of this promo event" kind of way. Each person in front of us only wanted one thing and there were THREE people behind the counter. But here's the problem: Two were just standing there. Just. Standing. One was getting things for people. And not in the fastest way either.

Now here is where I say something rude and mean about vegans. Because the two that were standing there had blank stares on their faces and were gazing towards the back wall with their hands kind of curled into themselves, looking kind of pale and tired. Like they maybe needed some sort of energy. Like from something that wasn't a garbanzo bean. And they were doing nothing. With people in line wanting to buy things from them. Wanting to BUY THINGS FROM THEM WHICH WOULD HELP THEIR SMALL AND FLEDGLING BUSINESS.

So we waited for awhile. And I was TRYING not to freak out because this was just so horribly, horribly wrong. I could see E getting uncomfortable because maybe I might say something. Because sometimes I do that. So I didn't. I promise you right now though, that every vein, cell and capillary in my body was SCREAMING at the Pale People Just Standing There. Screaming something like, "HEY! SEE HOW THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WAITING? CAN YOU COME AND SEE WHAT WE WANT? BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE LIKE FOUR THINGS IN THE CASE SO I AM THINKING YOU CAN PROBABLY THROUGH PROCESS OF ELIMINATION AND POINTING AND SIGN LANGUAGE SEE WHAT WE WANT AND FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT ALL BY YOURSELF."
But I stayed quiet.

And we waited. Easily 10 minutes. Then - it was our turn! Yes! CAKE! SWEET! The girl who was the sole one helping everyone got to us, we placed our order and I watched her go over to the huge carrot cake and cut a HUGE hunk off for me. YESSSSS. Big ol' hunka cake. And then she placed it in one of those clamshelly to go* things. But it was a big hunk. So it didn't fit. There was no way that top was closing but she stood with the cake in one hand and the cake cutter in the other, trying to orchestrate some sort of cake minimalization technique by poking the corners and hoping that molecularly the cake would shrink, allowing the top to close. I finally cut her off from her caketrance and told her she didn't have to close it because it would be in my belly soon. She slowly understood me (like I think I saw the moment when she understood on her face and it took a few seconds) and then walked over to the case to get the S'mores cupcake. Which she put in ANOTHER clamshelly thing (necessary?)* and then rang us up. Whew. Finally. Caketime.

Ok. So I took this after I had a few bites so you can't see its precarious beginnings. But there it is.

Now let me talk about the cake. The vegan carrot cake.

Can't vegans have carrots? Isn't that one of the few things they can have? And raisins? Can't they have raisins too? Or are carrots grown in lard or in some sort of meat filled soil that would make some sort of carrot substitute necessary? This cake - did not taste carroty at all. Nope. Not one bit. It could MAYBE pass for spice cake. But carrot? I do not think so. (Best carrot cake around is to be found at Spectrum/Ultraviolet Cafe, by the way. C and I fight for the last bite brutally and usually will finish it before even the first preview). I REALLY felt like carrot cake was a safe bet in a vegan bakery. I really did. I was prepared for the cream cheese frosting to be eh, but the cake itself? I figured it would be a veritable carrotpalooza! I figured I would be able to floss my teeth with the copious strands of carrot from this thing. And sadly, none to be found. The frosting was gritty - which I was told to expect because they can't use regular sugar (Many vegans prefer to avoid white table sugar altogether rather than chance using a product that was filtered through bone char). So I bought that deal (not psyched about it, but I understand it) but I still can;t fathom the lack of carrot taste in the cake. I had a few bites (enough to close clamshelly) and was done.

The S'mores cupcake, on the other hand, was very good. Very, very good. It had a toasty marshmallow on top and was adorable overall. Excellent choice, E!

So where are we in the story? Not even at the contest part yet. OK. Thank you for powering through thus far.

We went back outside to pet the dogs more and watch them setup for the contest. There were a good amount of people now (most with skinny jeans and piercings and colorful hair/dreads!) and they were loading the cupcakes onto the long tables.

They did indeed look yummy. I guess they figured on seventeen per person which is why they could only allow thirteen people in the contest. The one who won finished nine. This screams "they should have done more research" to me because they would have figured out that they could have let more people in, therefore raising more money. The contest was who could eat the most in five minutes - not who could get closest to seventeen. But...all for charity.

So, about ten minutes late, the people were called up to sit at their cupcake thones. And it began.

There they are doing some major cupcake shoving.** One had a whole Kobayashi thing going with the dipping in the water and slamming in the gullet. Excellent. And I started a chant with E's help during the eating. But no one joined. E would yell "CUPCAKES!" and I would answer "PIT BULLS!" But nothing. (We saw Albany Jane and John there and I am sure they were embarrassed by my attempt at starting a chant to liven things up. Sorry guys!) To my dismay, the crowd was just quietly riveted on the eaters. Probably because they only had flax for breakfast and were saving their energy for some hackysack later. (I'M KIDDING. SHEESH)

So, longer story not so short. Someone won. Yay. And we pet more dogs and left.

Frick. That was anticlimactic.

Overall and in conclusion - I might give the bakery another try and hope for the best. More product in the case, more taste in the product and more urgency when taking orders. We will see.

I will leave you with E and I getting doggie kisses in attempt to repay you for the time it took you to read that entire entry.

Namaste. Or whatever is the vegan word for goodbye.

*the clamshelly to go things seemed awfully wasteful by the way. No one asked if I wanted to stay with it and I would think that putting it on a recycled paper plate would have been more thoughtful, more green, if you will. Especially for a place that has about 70 containers of Earth Balance vegan butter substitute in their coolers.

** OH YEAH - I almost forgot! There was a KID in the contest and I never saw someone more miserable. Not kidding. He was sitting with his head in his hands licking the frosting off a cupcake looking like he was ready to cry and/or fall asleep. I had no idea what his problem was. I started yelling "Kid! This is a DREAM COME TRUE! Do you KNOW how many kids want to be in your chair right now? It's ALL YOU CAN EAT CUPCAKES and you are sad? This is better than the ice cream truck pulling up outside your room! COME ON!" Surprisingly my motivation yelling didn't seem to help.

I dream of Aashiana with the Indian Buffet

2010-03-24T18:33:00.000-04:00

So I met up with AlbanyJane and friends for some Indian buffet at this place on Central the size of a postage stamp. And now I want to go there every day. I want my own reserved table. I want the owner to know my name and bring me naan and fill my glass before it is even empty and make me personal mango lassis and be my friend and give me his pakora secrets. I want to get my next birthday catered by them and have a cake made of chicken tikka masala iced with whatever chick pea salad stuff that was with the sauce and the onions and the candles can be made of rice pudding.

I want to go back there as soon as possible. Because it was delicious.

I have been to several Indian buffets. Most, of late, I have been to with Matt. This is most hilarious if you know Matt because he is very delightfully thin (he actually said one time that he might have to quit playing in his soccer league because he was losing too much weight. Losing. too much. weight.) and he still manages to put away at least two heaping plates of food. And I am not delightfully thin. And I put away at least three and top it off with rice pudding no matter how full I am.

Unfortunately, Matt was unable to accompany me to Aashiana (work called - boo) but I cannot wait to go with him. And I cannot wait to take Charlie so we can have a race to see who can get sick from eating too much first, then who can complain loudest about eating too much later (put your money on me, people. I'm pretty loud).

I should talk about the food now I guess? I mean - I kind of did. It's Indian buffet so its the usual - but it is not greasy or overcooked or too dry or too wet. It is spiced beautifully and the owner comes and brings you fresh naan and recognized AJ and her man even though the last time they were there was over a year ago. And I know I have mentioned this already, but they had piles of pakora. PILES. And I will choke a bitch over some pakora, for real. I will stab a fork in the arm of anyone who gets in the way of me and the last one. Usually my first course, or my grande amuse bouche if you will, is an entire plate of the things with little side bowls (usually the rice pudding ones) of the green, brown and red stuff. So I ate many, but not as much as I would have if I was with people I knew well. After all, I had only just met AJ and her crew. I was also happy to see that they were all double platers (they went up more than once to get stuff) and there was even a rice pudding fan like me present. Yeah!

Fun was had by all and we parted full and happy. I went on to the park to take pictures with Nigel and later watch friends play frisbee (and film footage for this) and much later, skip dinner and fall asleep at 8:30 on a Saturday night from delicious overload.

Oh - and Aashiana? I will be back. Start making the pakora.

Adventures in Food

2010-03-24T17:52:00.000-04:00

No really. Adventures in Food.

A few weeks ago my bestest chef friend Stephen (he cooks for you here) and I decided we were going to cook a whole heck ofalotta yummy food. So we planned a day and went on down to Adventure in Food in Menands to see what they had going on. The only plan was there was no plan. Until we looked around and made a plan.

I have never been there before so I had no idea what to expect. And when I got there I was pretty surprised. It is basically just an office with a huge walk in freezer, another cooler, a room with dry goods and a room with spices and nuts and baking type things. All in ginormous portions.

When we got there they knew Stephen from the MAD so they were happy to see us but anyone can go in and buy stuff. Especially if you want 400 pounds of duck or an entire wheel of Pecorino Romano. So they let us in and we moseyed around and then made our way to the walk in. Lots of meat. Lots of gigantic amounts of meaty goodness. I could bore you with the back and forth of deciding what to purchase but it was really just me shivering in the freezer telling Stephen to pick something please, so we will skip to the part where we bought a 9 pound bison roast. Because we do not mess around.

We did some more shopping at the Hannafords (I love pluralizing that) and the Asian Market for veggies and accompanying deliciousness then we came back to my place where we laid it all out to start getting down. We were so busy cooking I didn't really take any pictures. We managed the roast (which we cut down to about 5 pounds and split the extras - I made bison stir fry with mine not too long ago), mashed potatoes (because I am just so damn good at them), roasted root veggies and roasted broccoli with lemon and some sort of cured spicy meat chunks we scored at the Adventure place. Stephen also made gravy out of nothing. And I am not kidding it was brilliant to watch. I think he made it out of boullion, some mushrooms and like a stick of gum and some C4 or some such nonsense. The guy is a gravy McGuyver. A McGravyer. I made some tarts for dessert from leftover linzer cookie dough I had in the freezer and filled some with cherry jam, some with lemon curd and the rest with Nutella. I guess I am a McTarter. Or McTarded. Either way.

So...bison. It was good. It was tender and meatier than beef, but it wasn't like "Holy Moly this is from the WILD and I can TASTE the WILDERNESS in it". There were no notes of pine cone or speedy getaways from natural enemies for species survival. I did not feel super adventurous eating it. But - it was very tasty. And really, that was the whole point.

I Am A Professional Blogger. (It's all about the Durian's, baby.)

2010-03-15T18:40:00.000-04:00

That's right. Me. A PRO.

How, you ask?

Because now I get PAID. Pizzaid. P to the A to the I to the D, people. Or I got paid once. To eat something gross. That I was then going to blog about. So this makes me a professional.

Shut up. Yes it does.

Proof:

See? Me holding my PAY.

Why? What? How? Who? Let me 'splain.

Elizabeth and BK had a brunch this past Sunday. It was a pretty simple one with a bring-some-yummies-and-let's-watch-a-movie theme. I brought bacon, chive and cheddar corn muffins. They were spectacular, holy moly were they good. But ANYWAY - Elizabeth and I have been talking about buying a Durian fruit from the Asian Market (red roof on central) and cracking that baby open to see what the fuss was all about. We have read that they are stinky and gross and nasty. Anthony Bourdain noted that "Its taste can only be described as...indescribable, something you will either love or despise. ...Your breath will smell as if you'd been French-kissing your dead grandmother." Thanks Anthony.

So - E and BK bought one. It's a spiky pine cone thing that never in your right mind would you want to buy unless you eat danger for breakfast. Which we do. It was partially frozen so we didn't really smell any particularly bad odors eminating from it. Previously we had read a LOT about the smell with people using words like "garbage" and "ass" to describe it. I thought it smelled fruity. I found out later this was because the deep freeze kept the smell in. Because of this knowledge I will now freeze my summer flip flops from now on to spare the noses that enter my house via the "shoe hallway".

Moving on. Finding a seam to open this thing is apparently the way to go after we You Tubed how to split Sharpie the Hedgehog open. So Elizabeth went to work seam opening and tearing.

We were getting a little more scent, and some noticed that it was pretty bad down by the stem of it. This was probably because it was the most thawed. Once we opened a "pod" we pulled out the fruit and went to work on the other pods to get all the fruit we could. I say "we" but really I mean Elizabeth and BK. And there was even an injury! BLOOD ON THE DURIAN!

The stuff was still frozen but we could see a hint of what people meant when they said the texture is "pudding-like".

Go ahead. You can say it. It looks like partially melted old lady fat globules. It literally looked like it came out of the garbage can of a plastic surgeon's office. (Yes, some Fight Club comments were made.) Most people at this point were pretty unhappy - it looked not nice and smelled not nicer. And of course I was voted first to try it. Here's a side view complete with double chin action:

It wasn't bad at all. But it was a small piece and still a little frozen. So we went around the table and everyone tried it. Some gagging, not able to get it down and some really not making a big deal out of it. One of the guests was very affected by the smell and refused to try it, but this is where I become a WORLD FAMOUS PAYED BLOGGER/REPORTER. Because she told me she would give me a twenty if I ate a really big piece. I think she said it jokingly at first but I jumped at it. I like money. So I took her up on her offer and speared me a big ole' chunk. What you see below this is the actual part I consumed (the size was approved by the group).

Here's me choking it down:

At this point I was just concentrating on keeping the chunk down. I was thinking about pleasant things, like what I was going to spend my twenty on (ice cream ice cream ice cream). And - really...it is the texture that is the thing. It is very strange. And I can see people really being grossed out by it. But the taste - it is fruity, kind of like very overripe fruit and a tang of nuttiness after you swallow.

I will say honestly I do not think I will have it in its natural form again, but I can see why people eat the ice cream versions of it which would remove the texture issue completely. It was difficult to open, and really - if I want to work at opening a fruit it better taste pretty amazing. I mean, look at pineapple. A good pineapple is a joy forever! And it is WAY less challenging to open than the Durian was.

Glad I did it? Heck yes. Glad I got payed for it? ABSOLUTELY! I look forward to trying many new things to eat and getting paid for them in the future.

Soooo...this is Nicole K, Professional Food Blogger, signing off... Feel free to email me if you want to write me a check to try some marinated monkey eyeballs or something.

Newflash: Betty Crocker Recipes from Early 70's Not Always Good.

2010-03-07T21:18:00.000-05:00

We should have known when the main ingredient was Hamburger Helper.

Oooof.

It was the browntannest meal I ever ate.

They can't all be winners.

food costs money.

2010-03-07T21:14:00.000-05:00

I haven't done a large food shopping in months, so I decided to bite the bullet and go for it. Two hunny and sixty bills later I was done. Youch. To my defense, I did buy some kind of pricey stuff (cheese, ground lamb), a good amount of meat (well - pork, chicken and turkey), and some extra fun stuff (coffee syrup) - but holy moly. I am hoping to make this shopping trip last except the trips for fresh stuff and I even might try my hand again at planning meals (when I owned a house and had an extra freezer I did a LOT of that). My lifestyle now supports more of a decide-dinner-the-night-before type situation but I KNOW I can save money by planning - so I will give it a try again.

Either way - 200 bucks I could have spent on boots so the food better be good. :)

I Cook With Other People Sometimes!

2010-02-24T16:45:00.000-05:00

Visit The Green Box where my awesome friend Matt

makes food from a Betty Crocker recipe box he bought.

Sometimes I get to help!

Kitsu Opening

2010-02-24T16:22:00.002-05:00

WARNING: This isn't really about the food.

So I have never been to a restaurant opening before. I know, I know...you are probably thinking "But Nicole, how is that possible? Do you not recieve invites for restaurant openings at least ONCE EVERY FOURTEEN MINUTES because you are so wildly popular? So wildly popular and beautiful? So wildly popular, and beautiful, and SKINNY?"

OK. Now you've gone too far. You're embarrassing yourself.

Anyway so I DON'T get invitations to restaurant openings, (or wing tasting contests or hot tub parties...) and I didn't even get this invite. My awesome foodie friend Elizabeth did (she knows people). And she invited me along. And I invited other people because I have no social graces.

Here is the email exchange between E and I more than a week before:

E: Sooooo I guess there is an opening reception there next Sun the 21st at 8pm...I think I'm going to go. Wanna go with? It might be a fun food bloggery thing to do. And if not fun, there may at least be a bit of free sushi.

The conversation quickly turns to clothes. And stays there.

E: But I'm thinking not super fancy fancy, more like funky. Of course, day of I may feel horrid and roll out in my leopard snuggie. IT COULD HAPPEN.

ME: funky sounds like awesome fun. we will funk it up together and be adorable funkmaster biatches that intimidate yet intrigue. i'm going to pretend i'm an artist not a teacher.

E: We will totally bring the funk! Be an artiste, or a food bloggeur, or the Princess of Schwatever! It will be a fun night, and if it ceases to be fun then we will turn up our snooty noses and BAIL "Sorry, folks, we are too cool for your party." But not before trying to grub as much of whatever they are offering as possible. Oooooh, I may need a handbag. A very very roomy handbag.... lined in ziploc bags.

ME: im so artsy i am using a ziploc AS a handbag. i will just tie a string to it and call it "utilitarian sheik".

Yes folks. Not only do I hardly capitalize when I type, but I am obsessed with WHAT I AM GOING TO WEAR TO THINGS! Now you all know.

Anyway - so we went.

And as you can see I managed to look not at all cool and artsy and E looked awesome and slick. And C (holding wine) and M rocked ties and looked all sorts of hotness. All that clothes excitement over email and I didn't even deliver.

But I guess you might want to hear about other things. I did warn you, though...this really is not about the food. But to shut you up (because you're embarrassing yourself again) I WILL tell you that...

So Very Good. I had actually eaten there a few days before the opening and I thought it was great. E, BK and I went and shared some rolls and were very impressed. They had some of the rolls we had available the previous night at the opening, as well as noodles, edamame, wine, spring rolls, wine, and wine. And water. And soda.

But this is the part of the story that is most interesting. I brought Nigel. And I think people thought I was taking pictures for Something Important. People posed for me when I walked by (this guy asked me to take a few pictures of him) and they even let me behind the sushi bar to get some of the chef in action (he even made me a special roll).

And generally I felt like I was a Photographer Rockstar. It was awesome. So the food was great, the people were nice, the staff was amazing and I plan to go back there very, very soon.

And now I am going to bring my camera. Everywhere.

So...Kitsu is

(OPEN. get it?)

It is on 218 Central Avenue and the hours are 11:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. Monday through Thursday, and 11:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. Friday and Saturday, !2:00 p.m. to 10 p.m. on Sunday.

You should probably go.

By the way, feel free to email me if you want me to come to a restaurant opening, chicken wing contest, hot tub party, french fry making competition, free food/wine/liquor giveaway extravaganza, or you want me to stand in one of those windy money boxes where I have to grab all the cash I can in one minute. I'll bring my camera!

Chicken Nachos for Dinner

2010-02-24T15:09:00.000-05:00

I always forget about nachos. I will be sitting in a restaurant and someone near me will get a heaping plate and I will be like, "Oh yeah! Nachos! They are so GOOD!"

So I made some for dinner.

I had to make some shredded chicken anyway because we were attending a LOST party and I was bringing the chicken for tacos - so I threw some spices in some chicken broth and cooked up some chicken breasts. For a long time. Hours.

I cooked it so long it literally jumped apart at the sight of forks. That is how easily it shredded.

Awesome. I took some that I was bringing for the taco guts and stored it with the broth (it sucked it up mightily) and the rest I used in dinner! But first I made some chips by cutting a bunch of corn tortillas into wedges, spraying them with olive oil and baking them. They come out light, crisp and nice and thick to hold ingredients.

And on these chips I built a nacho tower. Well...not really. I actually just made a one layer thing on a sheet pan. Too many times I have gotten Nacho Towers (c) that had unmelted cheese and stuff in the middle - so I went with a flat landscape.

I made too much. Then ate too much. But chicken nachos are never good the next day!

Delicious!

Shining Rainbow Dim Sum

2010-01-12T13:08:00.005-05:00

k. So after reading this - I had to go. The words were great but the pictures really sold it. I sent the link to friends with this email:

To: Friends
From: Me
Subject: friday din din dim dim sum sum

so - charlie and i are going here this friday around 8ish: http://albanyeats.blogspot.com/ (shining rainbow on central ave) for some dim sum.

we have never been there but i read the link above and drooled all over myself. so i figure it's worth a try. seems pretty cheap and fun. if any or all or more than all would like to join - that is where we will be, lookin all hot.

i didn't make a facebook invite because i am at school and such things are impossible. feel free to invite others that don't annoy the group. or feel free to invite others that will annoy the group just to be an asshole.

love always and forever,

nicole

By the end of the day we had several on board. Yay. And so we went. And it was good. And a lot of food because my friends like to eat.

And it was confusing. Or at least to me. Maybe it is because all the food came out at once and none of us were sure what everything was and some of it looked like stuff we had never seen but it definitely reminded me of when I went to The Melting Pot on my birthday and we all had our food in different boiling thingies and I had 40 birthday drinks and I was confused at what boiling pot my chicken was in and what dipping pot my marshmallow was in and then I went to the bathroom and threw up. Yay birthday drinks.

Anyway -

So I came prepared with stuff I wanted to get because of Albany Jane's blog and I started to write down what Charlie and I were going to get. The waiter was awesome and promised seperate checks for all so Charlie and I could just order as a couple.

When the waiter came by he took the paper but thought it was an order for all of us. He started to walk away and I said, "No! That's just us!" He stood for a moment, flabbergasted and then said, "Dat's a lotta fooooood!"

Yes. Dat IS a lotta food.

While we waited we stared at condiments. And probably talked about poop (ok we definitely did). Because we're gross.

Rice porridge thing (congee?) came first. We got a few kinds - a plain (pictured), a chicken and a pork. It was a little sweet (which I realized later was a trend in the dishes) but I liked it. I threw some soy in there and went to town because I was ready to eat.

What I was not prepared for in Dim Sum is the amount of bones you will encounter. And cartilidge. And general gristle. Which could or could not be why some of it is so cheap? There were dishes where I was knawing on some meat thing that has some other connective tissue still attached and I felt quite cavewoman like. As soon as I knew what to expect, I was ok with it. Some of the friends...notsomuch. But I understand being a little weirded out by bone and cartilidge in your porridge. Goldilocks would have tossed that shit against the wall. I ate it instead.

More food came:

Yum. Most had shrimp or pork in it. The hairy ball things on the left were dubbed "shrimp hot dogs" because the filling was basically smashed up shrimp all smooshed together.

Our friend Elizabeth said someone had to get chicken feet - so we did:

There it is.

Because I am a hardcore mofo I tried one. I think Charlie tried one as well but no one else did. Wusses. I had a bite and that was enough.

Then - we basically ate and talked.

And laughed...

and laughed...

and covered our faces because we laughed so hard.

and ate...

And then we ordered and ate so much the waiter wanted to take a picture of us. With the restaurant's camera. God knows where that picture is now - but I had him take one of us with my camera too.

It's almost hilarious how hard I am sucking my gut in with hardly any results - I still look like a Fatty McFattersons. But I guess that might be appropriate for how much food I had just packed in.

And at the end - we got free citrus! Bonus!

Our bill (just Charlie and I) for OVER TWELVE DISHES was ...wait for it...$37.00. THIRTY SEVEN. For about 40,000 pounds of food. HOLY MOLY!

So overall - a fun night. Most of the dishes were good - and it was a LOT of eating.

Last words on Dim Sum?

SHRIMPHOTDOG!

flatbread pizza yum

2010-01-06T18:33:00.003-05:00

easy, easy, easy.

need:

1. flatbread (whichever you like. i used Ezekiel 4:9. the store didn't have my favorite Joseph's Flax, Oat Bran & Whole Wheat Flour Pita Bread which has less calories but whatever)
2. whatever else you want on pizza

i made 2 kinds. sauce, 2 cheese (parm reg and mozz) and broccoli AND artichoke heart, sundried, spinach and feta (anchovies on mine...)

pile the stuff on. bake for 10 minutes, broil for 2 or 3 more minutes. eat eat eat.

sauce, cheese, broccoli

arty, spinach, sundried, feta and anchovy

oh. and by the way. i LOVE my pizza cutter:

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-24T19:46:00.000-05:00

Hey there! Just a quick one to say hi!

Nothing too special going on here at the KitchenWords kitchen- some meatloaf and mashed potatoes tonight for a Christmas Eve meal (late, late dinner) and some spicy lamb bolognese and garlic bread for Christmas Day Feasties. I was going to do beef tenderloin but a mix up led to me deciding not to.

I have recieved many, many awesome food gifts (riesling herb jam and homemade cheese, butterscotch rice crispy treats, cookies) for presents which I cannot wait to tuck into as well in the next few days.

I wish you all happy times and happy eating!

Cookie Swappage

2009-12-16T19:38:00.003-05:00

So we all showed up with cookies in hand last night. It was good good good good good. Except for now. I have have piles of cookies. How did I not think of this?

Just kidding. I knew this would happen. Elastic pants are my friend. Until January something something when my Boot Camp class starts after work. Then I will miraculously work off all the sugar I have eaten and will eat. And then I can wear regular pants again. But that will be a story for another time.

Anyway - so...The bounty:

The Official Cookielist:

Raspberry Chambord Lemon Thumbprints

Christmas Sugar Cookies

Pride Cookies

Chocolate Coconut Cookies

Gingerbread Cookies

Raspberry Linzer Cookies

Orange Chocolate Cookies

Shortbread and Chocolate Dipped Shortbread

Cake Batter Cookies (3 kinds!!!)

Frick! We know how to party!

We all wanted to lick the linzers. The raspberry jam just looked too good.

Elizalick.

Nicalick.

The cookie hotnesses:

We took many versions of this. Of course I delete every one that I DON'T look like a complete lunatic in. So we are left with the one where I look clearly insane.

And last but not least - the sight I will be looking at pretty much every night. Maybe with a few different dones subbed in...

I just ate...

2009-12-14T18:49:00.000-05:00

a panini with the following ingredients:
Cheddar Cheese
American Cheese
Taleggio Cheese
Monterey Jack Cheese
Anchovies
Grilled Eggplant

on Pan Sobao bread.

And it was really good.

There's not much left...

I think I really, really, really like anchovies.

When did this happen?

Roasted Root Veggie Puree with Figgy Goat Cheese by accident!

2009-12-09T20:55:00.000-05:00

Ok - so I tried to make this:

Puréed Roasted Parsnips Recipe
2 lbs parsnips, peeled, stringy cores removed, chopped (about 1 1/2 pounds after removing cores)
3 Tbsp butter, melted
1 1/2 cup water
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Peel parsnips, make a cut off the top of the fat end of each parsnip. This will show you extent of the inner core. Often this core is stringy and woody, especially at the larger end of the parsnip. When you are prepping the parsnips, cut around this core.

2. Place chopped parsnips in a medium sized bowl, add the melted butter and stir to coat. Lay out the parsnips on a roasting pan in a single layer. Roast in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes, at 400°F, until lightly golden, turning the parsnips once half-way through the cooking.

3. Put cooked parsnips into a blender or food processor. Add 1 1/2 cups water, and pulse until puréed to the desired consistency. Add more water if necessary. Add nutmeg and salt and pepper to taste.

from here: http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/pureed_roasted_parsnips/

but I realized that in no way, shape or form did I have 2 lbs of parsnips laying around. I had one bag. But I also had a sweet potato and a turnip. So I chopped 'em up, tossed them in olive oil, salt and pepper and roasted at 400 for about an hour. Then I threw it all in the food processor.

Seemed chunky and dry. I looked in the fridge. A little bit of heavy cream left. Tossed that in. Pulsed.

Dry.

Threw some water in. Pulsed.

Dry. Threw some whole milk in. Pulsed. Better. Tasted. Good but missing something.

Found some goat cheese with fig from the co op in the cheese drawer (didn't mean to buy the fig kind but it wasn't bad). Threw it in. Pulsed.

Hmmmmm.

Put it in crocks. Baked.

Yesssss. Came out great.

I highly suggest just throwing stuff in as you go sometimes. Sometimes the results are definitely repeatable.

By the way - we had it with this: http://bigflavors.blogspot.com/2009/07/balsamic-marinated-pork-tenderloin.html (Thanks Ashley! And an addendum - I did pork roast, not loin and marinated it for a long time.) Full meal here...

All in all - a great evening meal for a snow day.

chili reincarne...?

2009-11-30T21:22:00.001-05:00

So I had a bunch of turkey. Shocker, I know. And I wanted to not make Thanksgiving Part 4 for dinner and I didn't want to make turkey pot pie, or turkey shepherd's pie or turkey soup - so I whizzed it in the food processor and made some 2 Bean Spicy Turkey Chili with a Cornbread Hat. Not hard. I even cheated and used the chili seasoning mix (doctored with more chili powder, garlic powder, red pepper flakes and cumin). I chopped an onion and a clove of garlic and browned, threw in whizzed turkey, heated it, tossed in spices and heated until fragrant. I then added 1 1/2 big cans of whole peeled tomatoes, hand crushed and that tiny, cute can of tomato paste. 2 cans of white kidney beans and 1 can of black beans for the beanage and simmer for 1/2 hour or so and heck yeah!

Spoon into crocks and top with cornbread mix (I use Jiffy Corn Muffin mix - it's like 12 cents a box or something and perfect) and bake in a 400 degree oven about 25 minutes.

Excellent use of turkey in a very unthanksgiving way. If I had more turkey I would do turkey enchiladas too. Maybe next year. :)

troy farmer's market food find

2009-11-28T14:57:00.001-05:00

Marshmallows! They had lots of kinds (passionfruit! cardamom! vanilla!) but I went for chocolate.

well THAT'S over.

2009-11-27T12:02:00.001-05:00

Not that I don't like Thanksgiving. Because I do. But I am glad it's over. Cooking a big meal like that for two people just seems silly. I didn't do anything major- just a turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potatoes, honey roasted root vegetables and a red wine caramel apple pie for dessert. I bought way too much cheese and crackery stuff to snack on beforehand, as always, but all was good.

But it's over. And now all I feel is the mild panic of upcoming Christmas. Not about the food (although that has its stresses) but about everything else. Presents, ideas, shopping, etc. Blech.

So I will stay in for most of Black Friday (ew - the thought of standing on line for any Christmas something makes me want to puke) except for Tight Knit tonight. Then I will tackle the thought of Christmasing tomorrow. Just the thought, though.

Hope you all are happy and full and enjoying leftovers. Stuffing is better the next day, anyway.

Pork. Boubon. Dijon. Dinner.

2009-11-24T14:10:00.000-05:00

So I made this (from the lovely Ashley's flog) last night because I had taken out some thick cut pork chops and I always blank out on ideas when it comes to pork. I usually do a veggie brown rice fried rice with small cubes of pork thingy, but I wasn't up for that last night. Plus I usually serve it with yummy Asian Market dumplings of which I have none of currently (no room in freezer). I have been wanting something easy to make, and this was it. A few ingredients in a ziploc bag, 1/2 hour in the fridge, thicken reserved marinade while you cook the chops and woohoo! The sauce from the marinade was delicious - very bourbon-y but it made sense, wasn't intrusive, and the sweetness and dijon really shone through.

I served it with roasted beets tossed with a tiny bit of balsamic (I am now officially liking beets), some sauteed beet greens and some squash. I bought a whole load of root veggies with the intent to make this (by the way, please make that. Make lots and lots of it. It is so insanely good) but I ended up going simple with the beets and squash because I wasn't up for monumental choppage.

Either way - perfection for a weeknight and great for pork.

holy crApp

2009-11-24T09:15:00.001-05:00

So I was Thanksgiving food shopping with C and I ~~whined~~ wondered aloud about the fact that there wasn't an app for my iPhone that centered around a shopping list I could input then check off as I go. I like to make random statements like that without any research. C thoughtfully remarked, "Um. Don't you think there probably IS an app that does something like that?"

Upon searching for about three seconds the next day I found about seven apps that did that. Reviews for a few are here.

I think I might buy the "Grocery Gadget" one - it looks like it does a little more than just create a check off list and I like the idea of creating several lists for different stores...and even putting some pictures next to items for the weird stuff that's hard to find (Asian Market, anyone?).

Plus, I walk around the store with my phone anyway - usually obsessively refreshing Facebook - so at least I can use the phone more constructively while shopping. If I actually had music on my phone (I use my Pod for music, phone for everything else) the phone would be a PERFECT gadget to bring food shopping as I usually like to put headphones on while I shop so no one talks to me. Maybe I will download a shopping playlist onto the phone just for that purpose.

Quorn for everyone!

2009-11-23T12:11:00.001-05:00

I know I should be writing about things I cook, not premade things I buy and shove in my foodhole, but I cannot pass up talking about Quorn.

Remember that chicken patty sammy you had in gradeschool? It was breaded and mass produced and mass prepared and perfect. Remember how it probably had more heinies and lips in it than it probably had chicken? Well - welcome to Quorn: The Non-Chicken Chicken Patty That Is Good For You and Tastes Just Like Third Grade.

You can find these in most supermarkets and of course at the Co Op. But let me tell you about what Quorn is. It's mycoprotein. Mycowhowho?

Micoprotein. "The principal ingredient in all Quorn products is mycoprotein (“myco” is Greek for “fungi”). The mycoprotein comes from Fusarium venenatum, which was originally discovered growing in a field in Buckinghamshire, England. In the late 1960s, initial product development began, soon recognizing mycoprotein’s potential as an efficient and nutritious protein source." (http://www.quorn.us//cmpage.aspx?section=WhatIsQuorn) More info here.

Anyfakechicken, this stuff is awesome. I started with just the basic model, Chik'n Patties. (By the way, I love that taking out/changing a few letters then legally allows you to not put anything related to the word in the thing. Example: You want to make something seem like fish but you call it "Fisssssssssssshe" which would legally allow you to make your product out of veal, but sell it like it's fish. Awesome.) So the Chik'n Patty is awesome. Total school food heaven. Slap that thing on a soft, white bun and hello school cafeteria. Serve it with too soft and overly salted french fries and you'll be looking to sign up to be a class helper and pass out the crayons to the class in no time.

Today I took a step up and graduated to the Quorn Cranberry & Goat Cheese Chik'n Cutlet and wow! I would like to be buried with a box of these please so I can take them to the World Beyond with me. Holy yum. I kind of felt like having a glass of wine with this, but I was at school and they frown upon drinking wine out of a Nalgene while I am teaching literature (strange, that) so I just had my boring lemony water with it. I brought one for lunch and just threw it in the microwave so I am excited to try it after I cook it properly in the oven. And when I got those I also got a box of Quorn Gruyère Cutlets which now I CANNOT WAIT to try. And there are a lot more Quorn products that I will now look for, and obsess over.

The worst thing about Quorn? Well that has to be the name. I hate telling people about it and saying "So there's this stuff called Quorn, but it's spelled with a Q-U-O-R-N and there is no corn in it and it's chicken but it's not chicken." Sheesh.

Either way - go ahead and get some. But don't forget to wear your galoshes. And clean your room when you get back.

Eff Panini Presses. For real.

2009-11-18T20:31:00.001-05:00

Just kidding. Well...sort of.

I will continue my sad, sad panini adventure.

After I bought the press I realized I had really nothing to make paninis with (not the sad part).

I went to two stores for panini guts, I wanted to keep the first one simple. Price Chopper for good roast beef, brie, roasted reds, artichokes (I had some pesto at home). Co op for Rockhill Bakehouse bread - sourdough. (Probably should have done the brie there but I wasn't thinking clearly.) Oh, and chocolate. But not for the panini (not the sad part).

Long story short here: So, I made them. And they sucked (the sad part). They sucked so bad I didn't even have mine. I was so absolutely disgusted I cleaned up the kitchen and went to bed. I was even thinking about returning Benvolio!

Yep. I had a panini tantrum. C ate his and was perfectly happy with it. I threw mine out. The reason was - Sog Factor. They were so gross and soggy looking when I pulled them off the press I wanted to cry (I take making dinner a little too seriously, I know - but I really feel a sense of failure when something I make doesn't turn out. Especially something I have been excited about). It turns out that they crisped up after they were taken off the press, but I was so highly annoyed by then I didn't even want it. Why yes, I am an only child, why do you ask?

Happy Ending:
I read up on it. You wouldn't think I needed to know that much about grilling a damn sandwich but I did learn some things in my research. Reasons why Panini One failed:

roast beef waaaay too juicy
roasted reds wicked wet, if I want to you them I have to consider better placement
sourdough bread not dense enough - too holey
didn't brush the bread with oil

Anyway - some lessons learned. I tried again today and was much more successful. I need to find some better bread...and maybe try some less juicy guts.

All in all, Benvolio will stay. I look forward to not hating him a whole bunch.

Adventures in Panini Part 1

2009-11-17T18:32:00.001-05:00

You knew it. (grilled cheese panini!)
I knew it. ( monte cristo panini!)
I had to have it. (p b and j on raisin bread panini!)

I whipped myself into a froth earlier today thinking about it. So I got it. I will now panini the crap out of everything. Beware. Tuesday night I think will be Panini Night for awhile (thanksgiving panini - turkey, cheese, cranberry mayo, stuffing!)

To complicate things more, Macy's was having a one day sale and for some reason I reconfigured Crossgates in my mind to contain both Macy's and William-Sonoma on the same side. And I am wearing uncomfortable heels. So I parked by Macy's, scoffed at what they call a sale (marked up items marked down to regular price - I was looking for panini presses and presure cookers) then had to hoof it across the whole mall to get to WS to see if I even LIKED the one I have been drooling about. And I did. Oh boy did I. It has heft, some neat adjustable things about it and gets really hot - which means possibly cooking other stuff in there too. It also can be stored standing up (it has wittle feet!) and looks prett durn easy to clean (as all things nonstick usually are).

Don't worry - I didn't get any of the spreads they had so handsomely displayed nearby. I can make my own damn olive tapenade chutney lemon wasabi delight.

I was there to buy the press, so I bought the press, and while they were in the back getting it I helped myself to some hot cider. Yum. I like free things. Especially when I am about to pay 80 bucks for something I don't really need at all but want passionately. This nice man rung me up...

and I was on my way. Across the entire mall. Carrying a heavy-ass panini press.

In the car I realized I had no panini guts residing in my household currently. Or good bread. A leftover eggplant lasagna on diet wheat bread panini was NOT the way I wanted to break in Benvolio (which is what I just named my new panini press). So this meant I had to go to more stores. Which I was kind of ok with.

More on how this paninipalooza turns out later...

Panini Me Me

2009-11-17T13:23:00.001-05:00

Soooo... a little while ago I got this in my email...

and now I think about it a lot. Probably more than a normal person should. Like on my commute home (40 minutes! That is a LOT of time to paniniponder!). Or when I am checking my email. And sometimes in the shower. And when I am cooking other things. SO...usually when I devote that much brain time to things, it means I want them. And I will probably, even if I can't really afford to, buy them.

BECAUSE I WANT TO PANINI THINGS! I feel bad for C because then he will be forced to eat all things panini. I got gigantic muffin pans and that poor man has been eating different flavored gigantic muffin creations for months.

And yes, I do have a cast iron pan with the raised grill lines which is good, but I REALLY like the idea of being able to truly control the heat with the press, and also being able to walk away from the thing and have things not burn into a volcano rock. And my cast iron pan is not that big. And it suuuhuuhuucks to clean.

AND I WANT TO PANINI THINGS! Grilled cheese sammies with ham and yummy veggie things with pesto mayo and using awesome bread and MAYBE EVEN DESSERT PANINIS WITH NUTELLA (and bananas).

Now here's the deal - panini makers come in all flavors and sizes. Some are amazing. Some are just awful. Some are ok. Some are called George Foreman Grills (which are NOT panini presses, btw). And without walking into Williams-Sonoma I am going to guess that the one they are hawking is pretty good. It probably has good weight and great electronics that will last and some awesome easyclean plates that come out and tap dance into your dishwasher for you. But I am sure if i did a little research I can find something comparable online/Ebay/Marshalls Homestore/back alley black market panini scalper.

But I just kind of want to...

go and buy this today on my way home.

And panini the crap out of something tonight.

wants and whines.

2009-11-16T12:13:00.001-05:00

I want to go to this. And don't be grossed out, but maybe even this.

I guess I could drive to these events, it's not that far but I want things like this to happen HERE. Albany has the eaters. We have the desire. Why,why,why can't we get ourselves together?

Or am I just missing these things because I remained uninformed?

And I want to start a supper club where we eat at people's houses all themey-like and everybody brings food and chats and drinks wine.

And I want a pony.

Dear Eggplant,

2009-11-15T17:31:00.004-05:00

We are not friends. I keep trying to be friends with you but you continue to be difficult. Maybe I don't know how to be friends with you.

Maybe I don't want to have to do the work to be friends with you. Maybe you even scare me a little bit. But I want to love you.

Yet you scorn me.

Remember that cafe in Florence where you were covered in sauce and greasy and you gave me a stomachache? Remember how you were the worst meal I had in the whole three weeks I was there? What happened?

A few weeks ago I baked you up with disgusting results. You went straight from the oven, into a tupperware then into the garbage a week later.

And now yesterday. I salted you, yet in my eggplant lasagna you still wept. You wept an ocean making my meal runny and tasteless even though I did so much work to prevent it.

Eggplant, how many more chances should I give you? I don't know - you just keep making me sad. Please eggplant, stop making me so so sad.

Love,

Creo Visit

2009-11-13T10:50:00.003-05:00

I went to Creo last night in Stuy Plaza. It was very nice inside (standard high ceilings, beige curtains, "you can come in jeans or a party dress and still feel comfortable" feel) and we had a good meal. A little pricey, but I was prepared for that. I loved this on their menu:

Water, a diminishing natural resource, is available upon request

Oh please.

"No water for me, waitress. I will drink only expensive wine, because that is NOT a diminishing natural resource, unlike water. Don't give me any of that water stuff. I want to save the world."

They also had some fancy wording for some dishes. I can't seem to find them on their online menu but the one we had at the restaurant had some excellent foodie titles. It reminded me of this:

Excerpt from David Sedaris' "Today's Special."

As a rule, I'm no great fan of eating out in New York...SoHo is not a macaroni salad kind of place. This is where the world's brightest young talents come to braise carmelized racks of corn-fed songbirds or offer up their famous knuckle of flash-seared crappie served with a collar of chided ginger and cornered by a tribe of kiln-roasted Chilean toadstools, teased with a warm spray of clarified musk oil. Even when they promise something simple, they've got to tart it up - the meatloaf has been poached in seawater, or there are figs in the tuna salad. If cooking is an art, I think we're in our Dada phase.

I've never thought of myself as a particularly finicky eater, but it's hard to be a good sport when each dish seems to include no fewer than a dozen ingredients, one of which I'm bound to dislike. I'd order skirt steak with a medley of suffocated peaches, but I'm put off by the aspirin sauce. The sea scallops look good until I'm told they're served in a broth of malt liquor and mummified litchi nuts. What I really want is a cigarette, and I'm always searching the menu in the hope that some courageous young chef has finally recognized tobacco as a vegetable. Bake it, steam it, grill it, or stuff it into littleneck clams, I just need something familiar that I can hold on to...I order a [hot dog] with nothing but mustard, and am thrilled to watch the vendor present my hot dog in a horizontal position. So simple and timeless that I can recognize it, immediately, as food."

So true. Creo piled their potatoes high and stuck a homemade potato chip on top. I saw an appetizer for another table which was very precariously balanced and I am guessing had some magically flavored foodglue keeping it together.

Either way:

He - Lump Crabmeat Pesto Risotto app, Veal & wild mushroom meatloaf with Creo' mashed potatoes dinner
Me - Caesar & shaved parmigiano reggiano app, Grilled New York sirloin served with a rich demi glace & finished with roquefort dinner
Us - 7 layer chocolate moussed mocha torte four layers of dark chocolate espresso cake, layered with chocolate mousse & frosted with mocha buttercream dessert

His wild mushroom gravy was insanely good, meatloaf awesome as well, my steak perfectly grilled (something I suck at myself) and the pesto risotto was very good as well. Dessert was eh - we both decided that my flourless chocolate cake tasted better than their 97 layer chocotorte.

Fun night, good food. I will go again but there are so many other places to try!

pork katsu

2009-10-25T21:05:00.001-04:00

So at my absolutely favorite asian market on central (no idea what the name is - new with a big red roof) I found some Tonkatsu sauce (probably not hard to find, but I finally remembered to look for it). I wanted to do a pork cutlet but I was not interested in frying it. I found this recipe which works great and I like the technique of mixing a small amount of oil withe the crumbs - which makes it kind of "oven fried".

original recipe here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/eating-well/golden-baked-pork-cutlets-recipe/index.html

I made some changes
3 boneless, thick cut pork chops, sliced in half so each is very thin, then pounded thinner

2 cups whole wheat panko bread crumbs
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons canola oil
2 large egg whites, lightly beaten
cornstarch

Directions

Preheat oven to 400°F. Place a cooling rack over a sheet pan.

Mix panko breadcrumbs, garlic powder and salt in a shallow dish. Drizzle with oil and mash with a fork until the oil is thoroughly incorporated. Lightly beat egg white with a fork in another shallow dish. Sprinkle cornstarch over the pork slices and pat to coat evenly on both sides. Dip the pork into the egg, then press into the breading mixture until evenly coated on both sides. (Discard leftover mixture.)
Place the pork on the prepared baking sheet. Bake until just barely pink in the center and an instant-read thermometer registers 145°F, 14 to 16 minutes.

This really gets as close as you can get to restaurant katsu. Serve with Tonkatsu sauce and enjoy the crunchiness!

New York Style Crumb Cake Muffins

2009-10-19T20:58:00.001-04:00

I had to make muffins for a school breakfast and I wanted to use my GIGANTOR EXTRA LARGE muffin pans because I am obsessed with them. I doubled the recipe and it made 12 muffins, Twelve GIGANTOR muffins.

Some notes:

-I made my cake flour with this info: http://www.ehow.com/how_2107935_make-cake-flour.html. I used two cups of regular flour and 1 cup of whole wheat flour (then doubled it) and did the whole sifty cornstarch replacement thing.
-No buttermilk in the house so I used equal amounts of yogurt.
-Um. I didn't have enough eggs. But I made this anyway - I think I was short two yolks for the doubling of the recipe. Not sure if that really affected anything.

Recipe here from Cooks Illustrated:

Don't be tempted to substitute all-purpose flour for the cake flour, as doing so will make a dry, tough muffin. If you can't find buttermilk, you can substitute an equal amount of plain, low-fat yogurt. When topping the muffins, take care to not push the crumbs into the batter. Cooled leftovers can be wrapped in plastic wrap and stored at room temperature for up to 2 days.

Ingredients
Crumb Topping
1/3 cup granulated sugar (2 2/3 ounces)
1/3 cup dark brown sugar (2 2/3 ounces)
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon table salt
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), melted and still warm
1 3/4 cups cake flour (7 ounces)

Muffins
1 1/4 cups cake flour (5 ounces)
1/2 cup granulated sugar (3 1/2 ounces)
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon table salt
6 tablespoons unsalted butter (3/4 stick), cut into 6 pieces, softened but still cool
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup buttermilk
Confectioners' sugar for dusting

Instructions
1. FOR THE TOPPING: Whisk sugars, cinnamon, salt, and butter in medium bowl to combine. Add flour and stir with rubber spatula or wooden spoon until mixture resembles thick, cohesive dough; set aside to cool to room temperature, 10 to 15 minutes.

2. FOR THE MUFFINS: Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 325 degrees. Line standard-sized muffin pan (cups have 1/2 cup capacity) with baking-cup liners.

3. In bowl of standing mixer fitted with paddle attachment, mix flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt on low speed to combine. With mixer running at low speed, add butter one piece at a time; continue beating until mixture resembles moist crumbs, with no visible butter chunks remaining, 1 to 2 minutes. Add egg, yolk, vanilla, and buttermilk; beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 1 minute, scraping once if necessary.

Note - Mine was super fluffy! Look!

4. Using 1/4-cup measure or ice cream scoop, divide batter evenly among muffin cups; using small rubber spatula, spread batter into even layer. Following photos below, break apart crumb topping into large pea-sized pieces and spread in even layer over batter (about 1/4 cup of crumbs per muffin), beginning with edges and then working toward center. Bake until crumbs are golden and wooden skewer inserted into center of muffin comes out clean, about 20 minutes. Cool muffins in pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to wire rack at least 20 minutes. Dust with confectioners' sugar just before serving.

OK. So - What I did not bank on was the cake part coming up through the crumb topping. I was going for a true NY Style crumb cake which is about 2 inches of cake wearing about 6 inches of crumb as a hat. The cake part came up through and made these kind of...well, ugly. It might be because I tried to GIGANTORSIZE them or the lack or 2 egg yolks or yogurt instead of buttermilk. Either way I took them out of the oven and was a tad disappointed:

They were all...tumory looking. But it was a first try. And I figured that I would bombard it with powdered sugar if need be. Here is a single one looking all bumpy:

Not horrible but not exactly what I was looking for. But - throw some sugar on it and no one will be able to tell:

See? The reviews are in btw - Charlie says it's more complex than regular coffee cake. We both decided it is because of the whole wheat flour. And the thing is dense as hell. I might actually serve it cut in half with a scoop of vanilla in the middle.

I will try this again with all the right ingredients I think. Hope the peeps at school like it.

foetry (food poetry) 3

2009-10-12T09:44:00.003-04:00

like silk
and butter
and everything good about
its master.
the journey was hard.
the birth was
beautiful.
sunshine,
friends surrounding
green and blue and
warm.
then
yanked
and piled,
and squeezed into something new.
the past
a husk that’s left behind.
it grows older in the dark, then is
poured into the light.
now it marries other things,
it waits for
heat
or acid
glistening.
how dare we
refer to it
with merely letters,
call it by it’s full name,
goddamn it,
it’s earned it.

(olive oil)

NK 2009

foetry (food poetry) 2

2009-10-12T09:40:00.003-04:00

something about the
sound
out of the block,
the comfort in my hands,
any other feels wrong,
i don’t understand
why they’re all
not like mine.
attentive,
always ready,
turned the wrong way
they bite their masters.
trust and care,
keeps them sharp.
speed
not always a friend.
but nothing feels like
dancing more
then
tip down,
push forward,
follow through,
pull back.
repeat.

(my knives)

NK 2009

foetry (food poetry) 1

2009-10-12T09:29:00.004-04:00

papery
smash.
smear across the wood or
so thin it’s transparent or
chunked.
potent.
burns easily.
on you
for days.
in you for days.
noticeable when
absent,
obnoxious when
too present.
festivals
in its honor.
important
but small and irreplaceable.

(garlic)

NK 2009

shrimp feta pasta

2009-10-09T20:05:00.001-04:00

I made this tonight and it is a pretty easy and good weeknight pasta dish. I hardly ever use feta and it is delicious in this and really gets down with the red pepper flake well. That's right, I said "gets down". Like a funky mofo.

1/4 cup butter
1 medium onion, diced
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 1/2 pounds large shrimp, peeled and deveined
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
3/4 teaspoon dried oregano
Salt to taste
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
3/4 cup dry vermouth
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
4 ounces crumbled feta
Any favorite small pasta

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

2. Put the butter and onions into a large skillet, and place over medium-high heat. Once the butter has melted and the onions begin to soften, add the garlic and let brown lightly while onions continue to soften. Then stir in the shrimp, red pepper flakes, and oregano. Cook until the shrimp are firm and opaque, about 5 minutes. Season with salt, then stir in the chopped parsley, and pour into a casserole dish.

3. Pour vermouth into the skillet, and simmer until reduced by half. Add chopped tomatoes and continue cooking until heated through (let liquid reduce if possible, it makes for a less runny result). Spoon tomato mixture on top of the shrimp and sprinkle with crumbled feta cheese.

4. Bake in preheated oven until the cheese softens and turns golden brown, 15 to 20 minutes. While it is baking, prepare your favorite pasta and warm some bread.

5. Fill bowl with pasta halfway, spoon in baked shrimp and feta and make sure you get liquid from the bottom of the casserole dish. Serve with warmed bread.

about soup

2009-09-27T12:17:00.001-04:00

a great list of easy soups here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/50-easy-soups-1--10/index.html?nl=FN_092109_15

for me food network can be pretty hit or miss, but i have had enough successes to trust them as long as i think the recipe through and trust myself to add something or delete things that don't look right. and i pretty much suck at making soup. i know, it should be easy, but i have a block for some reason. all my soup ends up tasting like salty water with chunks of stuff in it. the recipes on the link seem pretty simple and quick and something that i would do for a snowy wednesday night when i don't want to have to do too much work. most likely i would pair any soup with something else, even just garlic bread or something, because i always feel that soup is not enough, but some of these seem pretty hearty.

my favorite combination is a well known one - tomato soup and a grilled cheese. at a local coffeeshop here: http://www.spectrum8.com/town/index.html they make quite the delicious combo - a tomato bisque and a cheese toastie (the name is so cute i can hardly stand it) and so i think i might just go there for it from now on for this...

there are lots of other interesting combinations and now the link has given me even more ideas. i have also slaved over a cooks illustrated french onion soup (recipe here: http://www.cookography.com/2008/the-best-french-onion-soup-ever) which was worth it. the baking of the onions adds an insane amout of flavor - but it is a lot of kitchen time for a soup.

wow. are you sick of hearing about soup yet? or me typing the word soup? i think i am. so check out the link and make some plans to make some hot, liquidish dinner. if i have any soupcesses (See what i did there?) i will be sure to let you know.

Heck Yes Roasted Broccoli

2009-09-14T17:51:00.001-04:00

You need:

2 big bunches of fresh broccoli (3-5 pounds?), cut in pieces (use some of the stems too! just peel sides off and chop in healthy chunks) -make sure this broccoli is dry dry dry or the roasting will not work…
olive oil
kosher salt
5 garlic cloves, sliced
1 lemon
Fresh Parm Reg

How to:
1. Preheat oven to 425
2. Put the broccoli on a cookie sheet covered in heavy duty foil. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper.
3. Add sliced garlic cloves and toss

4. Roast in the oven 20 to 25 minutes, until “crisp-tender and the tips of some of the florets are browned.” (About ten minutes in, shake the pan to move it around a bit, just redistribute) By the way - you WANT some edges to brown. You want the garlic to be pretty browned too. By the end they should be tiny, delicious, brown garlic chips. The browning turns this broccoli from eh to eeehhhhYYEEAAAHHH!
5. Remove from oven and zest a lemon over the broccoli and squeeze the lemon juice on top
6. Grate some fresh Parm Reg over it
7. Toss and serve!
No joke. This an amazing way to have this vegetable. Go make some now. No really.

Heck Yes Roasted Broccoli Comments...

SO I have been thinking about this (a lot. i have been thinking about it a. LOT!) and I think the next time I do the broccoli I will add a little pancetta in the mix. It kind of takes the sort of healthy spin away (although olive oil does add caloriesas well) I bet adding salty/cured meat to this would be pretty insane. I can’t decide whether to cube the pancetta and saute it in a pan then throw it in when i toss in the lemon and zest and stuff, or to just start it with the broccoli itself. I guess it depends on how long it would take to crisp up in the oven… Worth trying anyway. Or even throwing in some bacon crumbles at the end - to get similar results.

also possibly an asian spin by tossing in some tamari with the oil and sprinkling with roasted sesame seeds at the end (or using sesame oild instead of olive?)?

wow. obsessed with this dish. me.

Yin and Yang Salad with Peanut-Sesame Dressing Recipe

2009-08-27T17:48:00.001-04:00

Stolen from http://www.101cookbooks.com/ who stole it from somewhere else so I don’t feel that bad…

Salad Part

2 bags shredded napa cabbage
3/4 bag shredded red cabbage
1/2 bag shredded carrots
5 - 8 radishes, shredded
4 or 5 green onions (white and green parts), julienned or chopped
1 cup Peanut-Sesame Dressing (recipe follows)
4 cups 1/2-inch cubes chilled ginger tofu (recipe follows)
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds

(I GUESS you could shred all that cabbage yourself, but the supermarket has perfectly good and fresh stuff already done for a decent price. Save yourself the trouble and buy it. You have to do a ton of other stuff for this salad, so this will be a gift.) Toss the cabbages and carrots in a large bowl. Pile shredded radish in the middle and sprinkle green onions around the edge of the radish pile.

Peanut-Sesame Dressing Part

2/3 cup creamy peanut butter
1/3 cup brown rice vinegar
1/4 cup maple syrup
3 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons tamari
1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
2 cloves garlic
1 1/2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 cup lightly packed fresh cilantro leaves

If you’d like a spicier dressing, just add more crushed red pepper flakes. This thickens up once it’s refrigerated, so you can either add a little water to thin it or leave it thick to use as a sauce on grains and other cooked dishes. You might want to I.V. it straight to your capillaries or something because this dressing is pure, taste bud insanity. You should bathe your newborn baby in it ‘cause this shit is delicious.

To make just blend the peanut butter, vinegar, maple syrup, water, tamari, ginger, garlic, sesame oil, and crushed red pepper in a food processor until smooth and creamy. Add the cilantro and blend just until it’s finely chopped. The dressing will keep for 2 days, covered and refrigerated but really- it won’t last that long.

Gingered Tofu Part

2 (12-ounce) containers water-packed extra-flrm tofu
2/3 cup tamari
1/4 cup brown rice vinegar
1/4 cup toasted sesame oil
1 tablespoon minced garlic
I tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
I tablespoon canola oil

Drain the tofu and cut into 1-inch wide strips, and pat dry with paper towels. Cover a large baking sheet with more dry paper towels. Place the tofu in a single layer over the towels on the baking sheet and let drain for 2 hours, changing the paper towels after 1 hour.

Whisk the tamari, vinegar, sesame oil, garlic, and ginger in a bowl to blend. Put tofu in a shallow container and cover with marinade. Cover and refrigerate at least 4 hours and up to 1 day. I suggest as long as possible because the tofu drinks this marinade and makes this salad incredible. Halfway through your marinade time turn the strips over so both sides get a chance to take a bath. A wonderful, finger-licking bath.

Preheat the oven to 400 F. Oil a heavy, rimmed baking sheet with the canola oil. Drain the tofu and place it on the prepared baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes on each side until golden brown and heated through. Serve warm or cold, or at room temperature. The tofu will keep for 1 day, covered and refrigerated.

After All That Work Is Done:

Bring salad, tofu, sesame seeds and dressing to table and have people dig the heck in. Pile on the tofu, sprinkle with the sesame seeds, dress and serve. Fuck yeah. Really – this salad might change your religion.

Ridiculously Easy Flourless Chocolate Cake with Ganache and Berry Coulis (plus bonus truffles!)

2009-08-15T17:44:00.001-04:00

Flourless Chocolate Cake stuff:

8 ounces squares semisweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
cocoa powder for dusting
3 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

HOW TO:

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Grease an 8 inch round Springform pan and cover bottom with parchment. Dust sides with cocoa powder.

In the top of a double boiler over lightly simmering water, melt chocolate and butter. Remove from heat.

Combine sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Slowly fold in chocolate a little at a time, so as not to scramble the eggs.

Pour into prepared pan.

Bake in preheated oven for 30-35 minutes. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. This sounds easy but it’s absolutely not. The cake will be fudgy and wet and difficult to remove. Really let it cool before you do anything. Then do whatever you do - SLOWLY. The sides of the Springform come off easily, but separating the bottom from the cake is difficult, even with the parchment. I slid a knife between the parchment and the pan and that seemed to work ok.

Ganache stuff-

8 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, cut into small pieces
3/4 cup heavy whipping cream
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoons cognac or brandy (optional)

HOW TO:
Place the chopped chocolate in a medium sized stainless steel bowl. Set aside. Heat the cream and butter in a medium sized saucepan over medium heat. Bring just to a boil. Immediately pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand for 5 minutes. Stir with a whisk until smooth. If desired, add the liqueur.

NOW COMBINE IT:

“Ice” the cake with the ganache, pour some in the middle and ice the top and sides with an offset spatula. or a spoon. or your hands.

Fresh Berry Coulis Stuff:

Berries
Sugar

HOW TO:

Push berries through a sieve into a bowl. Add sugar to taste. Put in squeeze bottle then when you are ready, squeeze the coulis onto the cake in a pretty way. :) So it looks all professional and shit.

TRUFFLE BONUS!
any extra ganache should be refrigerated. after you have woken up from the sugar coma of the cake, get the ganache out of the fridge and scoop it into balls. roll balls in cocoa. TRUFFLES! you can fridge or even freeze these because you might not need them with all that cake around.

2009-07-26T17:40:00.002-04:00

so. um. five ingredients:

1/2 - 3/4 cup chopped shallots
1 stick or so butter
half a bottle dry white wine
3 to 4 pounds of mussels
shaved parm reg.
debeard and seperate good mussels from bad mussels (open ones are dead - chuck them). saute shallots in butter until softened. pour in white wine, heat until simmering. pour in mussels and cover. steam for 5 - 7 minutes until all are open. taste broth and salt/pepper to taste. if you want to be fancy shmance, toss some chopped parsley in at the end.

scoop up broth and mussels in a bowl. for real - you need some bread to sop up the broth because holy frickin moly. heaven.

this can be served with pasta but i prefer to eat a buttload of bread with it instead.

can be made in a pan on the bbq too. or probably on an open fire camping. or on a hot rock in a sauna.

The One Stewart's Made and the Two I Made

2009-04-05T17:35:00.003-04:00

I have a lot of things to say related to ice cream.

First off:

Stewarts ice cream (which I have always just deemed as OK except for their Bear Tracks or Bear Claws or Adirondack Something or whatever the hell has the graham cracker and caramel stuff in it) has a new flavor. The ice cream is Carrot Cake Ice Cream. You can only get it at the Sundae counter* and you can have them hand pack a pint which you will want if you like carrot cake. Actually you will want them to hand pack the trunk of your car with this shit because it’s insane. It is smooth consistency (which some (Charlie) thinks does it a disservice (but he’s crazy)) and they actually have the cream cheese frosting SWIRLED IN. I just fought off the uge to captilalize that whole last sentence because I am THAT excited about cream cheese frosting. I just went with the SWIRLED IN so you wouldn’t think that maybe I would kill your mother for some cream cheese frosting. Which I probably might depending on the quality of the frosting and how long it has been since I have had it last. So go get some of this as soon as you can if you live in a place that has a Stewarts. I am kind of hoping that Ben and Jerry’s steals this and does a little magic with it in their style, because it would be good if maybe it had some lumps in it (shut up Charlie I am not agreeing with you I just thought of that myself).
*I have forgotten to tell a few people that you can only get it at the counter and this has led to really bad results. Mostly the people have been VERY upset that they can’t find it in the freezer and then they end up drowning their sorrows in some other flavor they only half want, and eating way more of it because of the depression that ensued after they couldn’t find the Carrot Cake one. Ooops.

Second off:

So yeah. I made some more ice cream. But this time I shared it. So I hardly had any. This experiment lead to pretty good results, I’d say.

Chocolate Blackberry Shortbread Ice Cream

Chocolate Ice Cream (You’ve seen this before):

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups half and half
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp vanilla (or 1 split and scraped vanilla bean)
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa

You will also need:

Frozen Blackberries
Shortbread Cookies

Really it’s the same process as the other ice creams on here, but at the end you add the stuff and such. It seemed to be best to put the ice cream in a chilled bowl right from the ice cream maker and fold the other ingredients in. The chunks slow the maker down too much and it starts to make a sad whine while you are adding that doesn’t seem right. In making the first batch, I made some mistakes and will do it a little differently the next time. Here’s where I sucked:

Mistake 1: I added the berries mostly whole and frozen, which lead to big, berry-flavored ice rocks in the final product. I think I will keep a few berries whole but most i will chop and thaw before I add them in. I am thinking that some I might even thaw completely so they juice up and that might lead to a nice blackberry flavor which would cut the sweetness of the chocolate a little bit.

Mistake 2: I added shortbread and did not break it up enough. My original plan was to make the shortbread, and I think I will next time, but I didn’t have time, so I bought a package of Keebler Sandies Simply Shortbread (they were good). I broke them up but I needed to do it a little more. They acted as I thought they would in the ice cream though, they absorbed a lot of the ice cream and became sort of almost kind of hard, kind of spongy and tasted really good. The flavors made sense. I think even just Chocolate Shortbread would be good too. I must try.

So all in all, it was good, but ice cream shouldn’t cut your mouth when you’re eating it (unless you are eating Edward Scissorhands Rocky Road or something) so I have to be wary of making my chunks too chunky.

Next up:

Caramel Ice Cream with Broken Samoas

Caramel Ice Cream is mostly like Vanilla but with some changes:

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups half and half
2 tbs sugar
1 tsp vanilla (or 1 split and scraped vanilla bean)
4 HEAPING tbsp of prepared caramel

You will also need:

Girl Scout Samoa Cookies

Again make the ice cream like before and obviously add the cookies at the end. A few things about making the caramel ice cream:

1. I chose to use prepared caramel (I used Mrs. Richardson’s Butterscotch Caramel - and have you had any of her ice cream stuff? Her Hot Fudge is RIDICULOUS. I can only imagine that Mrs. Richardson is really some really fat dude that really likes to add hot sugary stuff to his ice cream or some dastardly alien that plans to end the world by fattening us up, bombing us, then releasing a bunch of alien cannibals upon us to chomp on our obese carcasses). Because I chose to use prepared stuff I cut the sugar to almost nothing. At first I thought the caramel would provide ALL the sugar, but for some reason the base really did need a little to make it pop. A lot of recipes I found for caramel ice cream had you making your own caramel first, which makes total sense, but I do something wrong with caramel and fuck it up every single time, so I just bought some.

2. The 4 heaping tbsps are an ESTIMATE. You just have to add one and stir, then taste, add one and stir, then taste. I think it depends a lot on the kind of caramel you are using. Add the sugar only if you need it, at the very end.

And again - I didn’t break up the samoas quite enough. i will chop them up more next time. I think I also might pop some in the food processor and process until they are crumb consistency and add them as well. Might make for a neat texture. (Also, maybe some flake coconut.) Again, the flavors were good, just needed some work.

So, I was happy with the first try of both of these. I think I might invest in some smaller tupperware so I can really make personal servings of the stuff I make, which would be easier on me if I keep it, and kind of cool to give away. I looked for some waxed paper containers at one time to buy so I didn’t have to worry about collecting my tupperware back, but I remember having to buy them a zillion at a time, so I didn’t go for it. Perhaps BJ’s has something I can use in smaller quantities. I will have to look.

And there it is. The latest adventures in Frozen Dairy Product. I know, I know. You peed your pants it was so damn exciting.

chocolate makes you fat. but fuck it.

2009-02-18T17:31:00.001-05:00

there’s something about valentine’s day chocolate. the heart box, the old favorites (caramel, toffee, anything dark chocolate), the ones that taste gross but you still take a bite and then try to pawn it off on the one you love.

this valentine’s day i bought some extra chocolate on sale. because i didn’t get ENOUGH chocolate. because the gigantic lindt bar, smaller 98% cocoa bar and box of truffles were not enough. so i waited until the 15th and bought THREE candy hearts full of goodness.

three.
that's right. i. bought. three.

what have i learned from this experience?

1. chocolate is fucking good.

2. there’s some weird ass shit in some whitman’s. like:

when was there a peanut butter chocolate one? and why does it taste so DIFFERENT than a reese’s peanut butter cup?
and what about the chocolate covered nuts? why are they there? (better yet, why aren’t they raisins
coffee cream center? when did this get added? it’s weird.
the plain chocolate bar one? THAT’S THE SUCKIEST ONE! if i wanted a chocolate bar i would have bought a chocolate bar. and it’s always right in the middle. like some sort of bullshit staple for the oldentimes or something. like if a 90 year old lady got a box of whitman’s and didn’t see the bar in the middle with the messenger guy (whitman?) she would toss the box and start fucking shit up. please.
why is raspberry so underused within the array? and where is the banana chocolate combo? or something with rice krispies in it?
two words. pretzel center. let’s go, whitty.
did God make caramel because he loves us or just wants to see us get stuff on our teeth for 20 minutes and sweat while trying to work it off with our tongues? and a related question with jolly ranchers there, too. and along that vein - why no jolly ranchers?

3. chocolate is fucking good. (did i say that one already?)

and just so you know. i only opened two boxes of chocolate. the other one i have in the freezer of a third party (charlie) and when the others are gone i will still have more. mwa ha ha ha ha.
see you all at the mall. because i will be there buying pants that are the next size up because i bought 3 candy hearts full of chocolate and ate them.

Foetry (food poetry?)

2009-01-14T17:24:00.002-05:00

i am a featured reader tomorrow at a poetry reading. i decided to write a little about food. i came up with a few pieces i like, but by far this one captures a kind of tangible anger i have…

i
fucking hate
you
rachael ray.
i hate that i had to look your name up
just to see if i spelled it right.
i hate your
accessibility.
i hate that
so many
trust you
and rave
and that you’re some maven,
some icon,
some goddess,
because you can open a can of peas.
i hate
that you’ve slutted yourself out everywhere,
no mystery,
nothing intriguing.
your face,
your hoarse voice
stupidly hollering.
i hate that you’re
America.
i hate your disrespect
for pure creation.
pre…made,
pre…boiled,
pre…prepared,
pre…vent me,
someone,
from assassination.
fuck you
and your
Yummo!
and your
E.V.O.O.
and your tricks
and your tips
and your shortcuts.
come here.
i’ll tell you to your face.
i’ll fuck you up,
with a spatula.
with a reduction.
with a roux.
i’ll roast you
under the table.
i’ll leave you
crying
onion tears
with wilted thyme
and unusable,
droopy celery.
i call you out,
rachael.
today.
bike racks.
three o’clock.
bring your
fucking
wisk.

NK '09

video of a live reading of this poem here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/milkwithice/3199989729/in/set-72157612575459841/

Mexican Chocolate Ice Cream

2009-01-10T17:22:00.001-05:00

so i made Mexican Chocolate ice cream and i tasted it last night. i have to say, for the first batch of chocolate i have made in a while, it tasted pretty darn good. first, the recipe:

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups half and half
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp vanilla (or 1 split and scraped vanilla bean)
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
cinnamon - um…no idea how much. a tablespoon? i just do it to taste…

so, it is the same recipe as the vanilla base with a few things added because even chocolate ice cream has vanilla in it. (and if chocolate and vanilla can get along, America, why can’t we?) same deal as making the vanilla (you can scroll down and see the procedure for that under the “Vanilla/Red Wine Caramel Apple Pie Ice Cream” entry.) The difference is that as you are heating the cream/sugar/vanilla mixture, slowly add in the cocoa and wisk constantly. the cocoa is going to be a bitch and not combine. in fact, it is going to lay on top of the cream and be a total jerk. keep wisking. as the cream mixture heats it will incorporate. slowly add cinnamon and keep tasting. cinnamon can quickly overpower everything (it is the rachael ray of spices…loud and obnoxious if you use too much, but perfect if it’s in the background where you can kind of tell it’s around but don’t really have direct contact. like if you were at a party and rachael was like 4 rooms away. it’d be kinda cool if she was there, but you don’t really want to stand next to her…) so add and wisk and taste. add. wisk. taste.
both the cinnamon and the cocoa might not wisk in completely or when you are chilling might separate a bit. that is ok. when you spin it in your ice cream maker it will allllllllll come together (just like an A-Team plan).
so spin and store in freezer overnight at least.
upon tasting i realized a few things:
1. it’s pretty kick ass for a first revisit.
2. it could be kickiner assiner (translation: more kick ass) if i used fancy cocoa. i just used hershey’s but i can get some french stuff from the local co op that might make the stuff pop or make the chocolate a little deeper tasting.
3. it needed chunks of something. possibilities: brownie chunks, angel food cake chunks, marshmallow swirl,
barbie hair...

4. consistency seemed creamier than the vanilla. not sure why…
i would like to try a regular chocolate without the cinammon. and maybe throw in some raspberryness along the lines of raspberry liquor or frozen fruit. i want to stay focused though. i probably should have done plain chocolate before i mucked it up with the cinnamon, but it actually worked out well.
other things i would like to do with a plain chocolate:
-chocolate with peanut butter swirl
-chocolate with york peppermint patty chunks
-lay in a bathtub full of it
-marry it

Vanilla/Red Wine Caramel Apple Pie Ice Cream

2009-01-09T17:10:00.003-05:00

kind of a long name. like, both ben AND jerry would nix that in a board meeting. they would name it “American Flag Eagle Pride Army Navy Mission Accomplished” or something. i realize that is equally long but it would definitely appeal to people down south more than my lame name. alright though, let’s get down to business here. this is how i made it. first i made the pie, recipe here:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/the-ultimate-caramel-apple-pie-recipe/index.html

finished pie here:

i know. kind of looks sexual with the caramel drip - not intended. the pie is AMAZING on its own so make 2 and double the caramel part each time. you want a lot of caramel in this mofo.

then the ice cream must be made. so far i have opted to deal with basic ice cream rather than custard. custard involves eggs in a heated cream mixture which scares the crap out of me, what with the whole tempering and all that. i will get into custard. yes. shut up i will, just not yet. i have to get the feel of this new maker and consistency and things like that. and thats a huge excuse but it will work for now.

so the ice cream recipe that seems to work for me is this:

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups half and half
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp vanilla (or 1 split and scraped vanilla bean)

throw it all in a pot and heat until just BEFORE boiling. don’t let it boil for geebus’ sake! alton brown said not to. something about the proteins breaking down. that sounds bad, right? something BREAKING DOWN? breaking down is never good pretty much so don’t let it boil. wait until there are these tiny little mini eruptions on the top of the cream then pull it off the heat. oh yeah, stir constantly. wear your ipod or something because this takes some time. i use a silicone spatula for almost everything and it is very good for this as well.
then let it cool enough to put in in a container and cool overnight in the fridge.
next day assemble your snazzy ice cream maker (the ice cream maker bowl should be totally frozen and ready for spinning. to check if it’s ready, shake it. if you hear liquid squishing around in there it is NOT ready. to be safe, freeze ice cream maker bowl for 2 days) and pour the ice cream base in. let it spin at least 40 minutes. ice cream will NEVER come out any thicker than soft serve consistency in one of these things so don’t bother to spin further. just throw the finished stuff in the freezer overnight for a hard freeze. anyway, in the last few minutes of spinning, add cut up chunks of apple pie (now LISTEN. i KNOW you will be “adding cut up chunks of apple pie” to your mouth too, just make sure a good amount makes it into the maker.) for about a pint of ice cream i would do the equivalent of 2 slices of pie but keep in mind i like chunky ice cream. if your ice cream maker can’t handle the churning, throw it into a cold bowl and fold in the chunks by hand. then take the whole shebang and put it in a decent container, cover it with plastic wrap (and by cover it i mean make sure the plastic wrap is touching the ice cream, caressing it in a loving way, whatever) to avoid freezer burn.

use ziploc tupperware things with blue screw tops. they seem to do well in the freezer and hold about 1 batch.

--for an EXTRA TREAT (which, you know, after making an ENTIRE PIE then putting it in BOWL OF ICE CREAM, you probably really still need an extra treat) put a layer of the pie chunks on the bottom of the container, then put the finished ice cream on top. this works well with smaller tupperware, like doing single servings (buying smaller tupperware might help control the amount you stuff in your gullet or make it easier to give to people) or double servings (1 movie, 1 cute boyfriend/girlfriend/Realdoll, 2 spoons*!). if you do that you have this insane frozen pie layer to dig around in- it’s like a present on the bottom of a present!--

so there it is. America Mission Accomplished Apple Pie Vanilla Flag Eagle ice cream.

(by the way - naming this ice cream reminds me of this Always Sunny clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AlanjArRmM )

*Realdolls don’t really need their own spoon i don’t think…